dont mean to sound sour but yea, turn off your lights tonight 830-930pm to make up for all that energy you wasted promoting earth hour. harap maklum.

few days ago, (forced by my sister) i watched Skins, a brit tv series. i refused to watch initially because i felt that it was all teenagers emoing in their british accent. however, jess went "but this episode's about sisterrrrrrrrrrrss!!" in a very gay manner. so i decided to give it a chance. they werent sisters but a pair of twins. and the younger one's really pretty!

the following pictures were stolen:

kathryn prescott.

seriously, how do people get so pretty? i'm starting to think it has got to do with names. almost all the jessica's who go on american idol get on tv for being really horrible. haehaehaehae. i think imma name my daughter katy and my son prescott. but that's gonna come after a waiting list of other names i mentioned before like jay, edison, uberima fides... hmmm...

mr. s, dont forget you wanted to name your son estoppel :D

i once wanted to name my son travis. because travis sounds so hot! and travis won the greatest american dog thingy. yea, i watched it. i'm lame i know. sigh. but i wanted cute little andrew to win it. :/ do you know he didnt move at all despite a huge elephant walking towards him!!!!

cute little andrew o.o

oh back to skins, it wasnt as bad as i thought, although i really think i am a little too old for it. there was this great soundtrack though, beautiful, dirty, rich by lady gaga (so it's worth downloading because all you guys care about is mainstream right!).

sigh how did i digress thus far.

can i go on and do my confession (my very first excuse to waste my time blogging)? i'm going to tell you a few weird stuff i eat, just to make you feel like you're not alone. see i'm secretly saying you're weird haehaehae. sigh, i'm so not girly right now. i should be talking about pink ponies and the unicorn which jumped over the rainbow into the pot of gold and there were gummy bears all around with ribbons and other pink stuff.

how can girls be so perfect?

like when i watched one litre of tears, i was so inspired by the main actress that i vowed to have good ethics. i wanted to eat and sit and speak well and laugh politelyand smile coyly. but it's just really not my thing ok. plus she wore 3 quarter skirts with long socks wth! i guess i'll forever remain the joanne loke you know. T_T sigh.

just promise you wont alienate me after this okay?

okay. number one. milo powder. but who doesnt right? if you dont, i think you had a sad childhood! (getting defensive wtf). oh and milk powder too. sigh. it's so unhealthy you know. mummy say i'll get worms in my intestines, plus i always dirty the kitchen counter :(

please dont tell mummy.

number two. i drink milo-o. that's pretty normal i guess. but when i was younger i didnt stir my drink so i could scoop up the milo at the bottom of the cup and just eat it like that. of course thre rest would be rather tasteless but i didnt care!

please dont tell mummy!

and worse than that, i used to do the same to ribena. i'd fill the base of the cup with ribena and then refuse to add water. instead, i put in ice cubes and scoop up the ice cubes drenched in ribena and at the end drink whatever's left of syrup and melted ice.

please dont tell mummy :/

i used to eat gula batu just like that. sugar lumps. or cubes. or sugar rocks. stones. whatever. i would sneak to the kitchen and pop one into my mouth and pretend i wasnt eating anything haehaehae. but that was 10 years ago.

please dont tell mummy.

when i was a teenager (hey, wait a minute, i'm still 18 hehe), whenever i walked to the kitchen, i liked to open the fridge and take out the condensed milk. you know, that sweet yellow slab of goo in a jar. i would dip my finger in it and then suck my finger. but of course i always washed my finger after every dip! but i never washed before the first HAHAHHAHAHAH

please dont tell mummy :0

when i was a kid, mummy used to buy koko crunch. but they arent comfortable to eat because of their pokey shapes. anyway, when i was a preteen mum bought cornflakes - the healthy way to life. sigh. so i'd put cornflakes in a cup and add condensed milk and milo powder. and then stir it and eat it just like that all sweet and sticky. it got me really high and hyped. i didnt even have to add sugar lumps!

please dont tell mummy :D

hm, what else. oh yea, i use to suck every drop of juice out of corns - fresh corns sold by the roadside. it tasted SO SO SO good!! until mummy told us i was sucking the farmer's sweat wtf! i was only 8 you know. sobsob ;( scarred for life can.

okay lah i think that's all for now. staaadii!!

nataliedee.com

i have a problem.

i'd like to think of myself as someone averagely smart; though that's not the core of my problem. my problem is that, despite how much i'd like to think of myself as such, i cannot solve this one problem.

x > 2x - 3 find x

no, that's not it. what if you're so used to something, you feel like you cannot live anyway else?and despite vowing several times before that you are going to leave that phase behind, you fail because a part of you never really gave up.

but you're technically living someway else.

except mentally you're trapped in that time zone. and worse, you actually want to remain there, even though you know it's imperfect, even though you know you will never be as blissful as you should be if it were to be the right place to be in.

but you actually do believe it's the right place.

personally, you might want to keep problems away from others, like i do. because i would like to think of myself as smart and capable enough to manage everything myself. but what if people actually want to help you? even if you refuse.

i dont need it.

but they think they're doing you a favour, when you would really rather fix it alone although you know instead of fixing it you're gonna stare at it and try to somehow derive a revelation although you dont actually have a question because you've asked, and you've got answers, but they're just not good enough.

and then things turn sour.

when they try too hard, you'll feel like pushing them away. number one, you dont need their help. number two, you dont need them. and number three, they dont give you enough space to stare and think. and this is when you feel like running away.

does anyone understand?

i'm dead serious. and then you screw up and get so many others down as well when you never even intended to involve them at all in the first place. but you know it's not their fault they wanted to help. can anyone relate to this problem? please suggest a solution.

i > 2i + 3 you. find you.

once upon a time :D

i'm now

khalil fong da tong's girlfriend!!!!

to understand the following conversation,
you'll have to listen to my boyfriend's english song:
singalongsong (click!)
make sure you do, it loads super fast!
and there are lyrics to singalong :D

ben says:

you take care khalil fong's girlfriend!
one day if we go out remember bring him along!
hahahaha

khalil fong's girlfriend ^^v says:

HAHAHAHAHHA
ok ^^ i will!!
but if he too busy i bring photo ok
hehe.

ben says:
then we can sing the singalong song
hahahah

khalil fong's girlfriend ^^v says:

YAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! <3
it's not too long you know :D

ben says:

LOL

khalil fong's girlfriend ^^v says:

hehe.
it's when he thinks about me that he hears songs
and we can singalong

ben says:

LOLLLLLLLLLL

khalil fong's girlfriend ^^v says:

maybe if you want to
hehehe.
cuz he wrote it for me ^^v

ben says:

LOLLLLL

khalil fong's girlfriend ^^v says:

:D

ben says:

CANNOT TAHANNNNN
LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

khalil fong's girlfriend ^^v says:

hahahha

ben says:

ngeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
bye byeeeeeeeeeeeee

very random thoughts by yours truly.
if you read everything, you're crazy. and for that, i'll give you 20 cents.

you can be very funny.

but you can also be very dull. or you can be very sad. you can try to escape by hiding under your covers, by sleeping, by dreaming, by refusing to wake up. you can lay on bed and pretend you're evaporating. you can tell yourself you're feeble, you can tell yourself you're fragile, you can tell yourself you have permeated into your depressing thoughts and emotions.

but at the end of the day, that's all you are. an emo icon. a small fck in the big picture. dont take life too seriously, you'll never make out of it alive anyway. i always believed that we should enjoy life, because we might die tomorrow. and if the world is really going to end on 2012, i'd be out there making babies by now. stop everything else you're doing right now and seriously think about it.

assuming it's an established fact that the world is ending 2012 and assuming the circumstances are aaequivalent to that of this very moment, what would you do? i would start teaching maths, i would tell this guy that i'm really into him (though he told me he was unavailable T_T), i would force him to date me (ahem), and some way down the road we would be making babies, i would finally fulfill my teenage wish of abducting a penguin and buying myself a guinea pig, i would travel, etc.

life is pretty good right now.

recently i made a few revelations (perhaps i'm just easily-amused). lately i've started to feel more responsibility in taking care of my mum and in making her happy. not only has she given me life and brought me up, but she has also given me this fair skin i love so much (my conflicting inner thoughts: i wish i were fairer though. joanne, you ungrateful child!) annd this cute face of mine (har-har :D). and she cooks the bestest soup on earth!

unrelated information:

girls, learn how to cook from your mum, because all the recipes your mother-in-law passes to you will lack the secret ingredient!!!!! because that's what i'm gonna do to my daughter-in-law to get my son to keep coming back to mama for more hehe :D and when you pick a guy, look at what he does and not what he says.

okay, back to my mum:

also, she has always sent and picked me up from school. she always had to wait in the sun thus her pigments are revealing themselves now at 50. sobuuuuu (my new pathetic cry). and she's telling me to arm myself with an umbrella and shield my skin from the sun so i wouldnt experience the same thing. double sobuuuuuuuuuuu T__T

that's it! my children will take the bus or taxi.

she has also been complaining about her eyesight, and body ache. and she refuses to take photos unless she makes up. mumma's getting old. :( unlike her, her two daughters are t-shirt and jeans girls who treat baby powder and toothpaste as make- up. sobuuuuuuu. so lately i've been thinking to accompany her to her favorite sports - shopping, or watch movies, buy her sudoku books or play board games or something.

but mumma said:

1. shopping? i dont like shopping also! save money lah, the economy now not so good. your father work so hard you know! some more your sister fees RM7k one semester. shop what ping ler.

2. (after watching secret by jay chou) what stupid show is this! waste time only! cannot even hear what he saying! he mumbled the whole show! subtitles also cannot understand (pirated ma, ahem-hem).

3. buy what lah, sudoku everyday newspaper also got what! i do everyday wan! i dont know how to play chess le, i go play gin rummy with my friends. anything call me yah! bye!

sigh~

today my mum gladly announced that her income for gin rummy for the day was RM3. so cute hor. anyways, that's my first revelation (i only have two ok). my second revelation is that, as much as i'm reluctant to admit (because when you do that reality gets all concrete and stuff), i feel detached from my friends back here in subang jaya. two of them are dating and they're really busy and stuff. the other four are jolly good people though, but (censored).

(actually i just couldnt find the right words)

on the other hand, i'm madly in love with this girl who i live with. because she's cute and evil and sometimes very silly. but she catches bathroom bugs with me, sweep the ceiling with me, mop the fan with me, commands me to bath, teaches me chinese, etc. we eat together, sleep together, shit together, party together, we even had an offspring (an orange fish hehe) together named bibi! yea, had, it died like two days ago because t he biskuat (see, i feed my offspring high class Tiger biscuit) finished and bibi didnt like bread. like any other parent, i was teaching him (or her) to be less picky.

little did i know the lesson was lethal :0

also, this bunch of engineering students i met from tech time are really nice people. it's really fun to hang out with them but sometimes i worry if i'm a bother to them. one of the things i hate the most is to be someone else's burden. but then again, each of them have so much character it's hard not to find them interesting.

i think my uni life has just started :0

you can be very funny, or you can be very emo. you can be very happy, or you can be very sad. you can feel like you're detached from the world, or you can feel like you're at the center of it. you can be very playful or you can be a suicidal attention seeker. you can be very cute or you can be very depressing. but every moment of that you're getting older, and every moment of that you're getting closer to death one step closer to heaven.

(see, i'm an optimist :D wait, i'm going to heaven... right?)

we're living and dying at this very moment. like the old cup half full cup half empty theory. the pessimist is empty and the optimist is full. so how do you determine whether you're living or dying? easy. you're only ever living when you're feeling happy :)

have a happy day my lovelies!

loke yew's real name was wong loke yew wtf!

"I am a scholar of comparative religion. Personally, I am a Buddhist coming from Hiroshima, and at one time, I was a Buddisht monk in a monastery for twenty years. Later I became a scholar.

But coming from Hiroshima, I want to say one thing: Hiroshima is Jesus Christ. This is because 200,000 people died in the atomic bomb for us and brought the peace that exists today. In the same manner, six million Jewish people died for us in a holocaust and brought peace today to our hands.

We must give up the absurdity to blame Roman soldiers who poked the body of Jesus Christ. Instead, we should seriously think about the meaning - the holy meaning of the torment of Jesus Christ. Then we realise the big responsibility: that we are challenged to maintain this very fragile world peace today. I hope that we all feel this big responsibility through this conference. Thank you."

Soho Machida

racial tension, environmental problems, economical downturn, political absurdity, do we really need to add education into the brouhaha? sigh. ever considered the possibility of attaining a higher level of dignity if we were helpless little monkeys?


what if the world ends tomorrow?


what a sad ending note. in fact, "sad" would be rather overrated. even a jazz score ending on a diminished chord would make better than what we have right now. the proper description, i would say, is meaningless.


there exists a need for a global reform.

what did i do yesterday?

i was home alone :( 

so i studied next to the windy balcony.

this is my serious study face!

well,

at least until this happened.

i miss you bubbles!!!

最近，习惯有人陪我吃饭，逛街，睡觉，跑步，读书。

在泡泡和大秉离开那一刻，我已开始感到孤单。

至少还有良倩在。至少还有一大堆书要读。

不喜欢自己一个人，因为自己一个人会孤单，孤单时会想起你。

可是今天我不要想你，因为你已不再想我。

okay, a few notices.

number one, i do hope you guys can contribute to this project called What's After SPM. a group of youngsters are planning to compile a book of our past experience for spm leavers. i think it's very meaningful, so hopefully you guys can help out alright?

number two, time to give.

remember how other random customers supported your business management project and cyberp? if yes, time to repay. if no, believe me you that what goes around comes around; give now, receive later.

so click here.

online boutique. reasonable price. free COD at mmu malacca. it's muharram's cyberp project although i'm not sure how true is that. he said this was inspired by my frequent online window shopping. get it? internet browser window shopping hahahhaa.

okay that was lame wtf.

number three, color the path tomorrow - engsoc's charity 10km walkathon. yes, you may register tomorrow itself. fee's only RM5! i'll either be a participant or the emcee. and i'll be covering the event for the pulse :D

number four, the pulse has been launched!

the pulse is mmu's official online press. it's finally up but there's still alot of room for improvement. two of my paid articles are up there :D number five, my news article's on mmu homepage!! under current updates although my article is the oldest, leading by june 2008 *happy. click here.

number six, i'm officially forbidden to shop for another 6 months. i cant disclose the amount of money i spent here because my sister jess is the biggest tattler ever! but i bought a pair of scarlet short pants for RM7.50 ok! :x

my wishlist:

1. that oriental waistbelt up there! RM28

2. that cool looking watch. RM16

3. that i'm cute hoodie at voir :/ RM80

4. or that cool black yishion jacket! RM150

5. another foot petal called tip toes! RM22

number last, imma get this phone this monday :D

i realize humans have this tendency to attribute complicated or mysterious happenings to scientifically inexplicable matters, because it's the easiest, simplest solution. for example:

did you hear that?!

- i think here got ghost weh!

i saw a white shadow swish pass!

- pontianak! :00000

why break up with me?

- tukang tilik said our patt ji (chinese - 8 characters) not ngam. sorry babe.

why wear so weird today!

- lucky.com say this is my lucky color today ma!

hor! why ponteng yesterday?

- horoscope said better stay at home :x

why you simply throw your clothes everywhere!

- feng shui!

when i'm in a dilema,

i convince myself to pick the crazier option by reminding myself that doomsday is coming. 2012 or not. should i have sex? hmm, i dont wanna die a virgin!

that's just an exaggerated and completely fictional example ok.

so yea, i'm one of those humans mentioned in the first paragraph. before i go, here's a series of photographs entitled "fun at the field" taken after my roomie's performance at mmu olympic's closing ceremony.

her slippers :D

morning exercise!

afternoon exercise!

happy joanne and fan

pass the fan!

it says kung fu :x

._.

._.

because i'm cool like that.
ixoraaaaa.

mine :)

did you tell him?
- tell him what?

that you still love him.
- i do?

you dont?
- is this a trick question?

you miss him?
- not always.

but you think about him.
- everyday.

why?
- i just do.

so you're not over him.
- i dont know.

do you want to get over him?
- he said he's over me.

so you do want to get over him.
- i guess.

how's the progress?
- slow i think. i dont know.

think about the past alot?
- sometimes.

how was it like?
- what?

being in love with him.
- everything i needed.

define that.
- waking up knowing you have someone no matter what happens. going to sleep smiling. waking up smiling. eat and bath and pee and poop smiling...

that's gross.
- yea i know.

tell me your most vivid memories.
- the first day i noticed him. the first days. the day we pretended to sleep in class holding hands. the day he plucked a flower and placed it on my ear. the day he pecked me after class.

too much information, babe.
- yea, okay.

so you reminisce alot.
- i used to. but he said humans shouldnt live in the past.

how does it feel like?
- it used to feel like yesterday, all of it.

and now?
- like someone else's memory.

TECH TIME 2009 

@ DATARAN PAHLAWAN

yes, it spins.

question: who's the new boyfriend?

wei hsiang *loves

big bear

tauke!

engpin

dabing

fusiang

richard

chris

... none :D

fangxin

yun ying

queenie

sick of my face already? ehehe. :x

aikawa and um...

my roomie and my housemate. bubbles and l-chen.

vincent and yunying

dota enthusiasts

the happy freaking ray of goddamn sunshine! chris was like ^_^v

engpin being farney.

white. orange. white. orange. white. vip wannabe's!

weee! wii! wtf.

vincent. random wc. tham! bala. jason the clubba.

datuk haji yaakub

malas caption.

LOLOLOLOL

ini semua orang curi tulang ambil gambar!
which is why i wasnt there :D

queenie

and michelle

you girls competing 

to take the most pictures 

or what :0

ipoh curi curi ambil gambar with wc -_-

cuter than cutecute

manhunt

cuteeeeeeeeeeeeee.

the greatest person you'll ever meet.

meanie!

behold: 

the cutest photo award of tech time 2009:

mini fusiang *lovesloves*

jason lost by abit. aww :/

gary curi ambil grambar with pretty girl!

"enjoy life, you might die tomorrow".

*end.

nataliedee.com

what does joanne want:

1. that nice RM16 watch

2. that RM28 oriental waistbelt

3. sony ericsson brown g700 *drools

4. another new yishion jeans :DDD

5. more tshirts more tshirts!!

6. the ability to survive april and may all broke :x

cuz i dont know what i am without you.