buddies whom i celebrated the strike of merdeka with. mouseover :)

joanne pakai reebok. amirul pakai free t-shirt. bahaha :p

we were in the library until 10.30pm getting materials for our group assignment. afterwards, we decided to go watch fireworks at jusco. we sat on the grass like many other families. suddenly the emcee shouted "merdeka!". we followed. they played negaraku. we sang. and that was it. no fireworks.

we stared at the sky for awhile and left.

ANNOUNCEMENT by lecturer Mr.Gary :

Dear students;

KINDLY NOTE THAT THE QUALIFYING BOARD WILL BE AT THE NIVERSITY ON THE 3rd AND THE 4th OF SEPTEMBER. AS SUCH IF I CAN NOT MAKE IT INTO CLASS FOR ANY OF THE TUTORIAL GROUPS,KINDLY DISCUSS THE QUESTIONS ON PM AND MINISTERIAL RESPONSIBILITY IN GROUPS AND PREPARE THE ANSWERS IN POINT FORM. PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT THE VISIT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO THE LAW SCHOOL FOR THE FUTURE OF ALL LAW STUDENTS. AS SUCH, PLEASE DO NOT MISS THE TUTORIALS ON THURSDAY AND PLEASE BE IN CLASS AND DISCUSS THE QUESTIONS QUIETLY SINCE THE QUALIFYING BOARD MEMBERS ARE AROUND AND MAY WANT TO OBSERVE ANY STUDENTS. THANK YOU.

here's what i understand pertaining to the position of mmu's law degree: it is recognized by LAN but apparently not by the qualifying board. therefore, we have to take the certified legal practitioner (CLP) examination in order for us to be called to the bar.

and only 10% pass CLP every year.

the law degree in mmu is 4 years, of which the final year is on malaysian procedures, which is what CLP is apparently for, which explains why it's compulsory for graduates with 3-years foreign degrees to take CLP.

what a waste of 365 days if the qualifying board doesnt exempt us.

but then again, if it really is equivalent to the final year, CLP shouldnt be a problem for us, should it? let's just hope for the best. dress nice and do a proper discussion this time. yes, angie, i will not be talking about fish and protein this time, i promise.

anyways, havent i bore you enough?

since i'm feeling generous today (heh heh heh) i'll upload some of my pictures in port dickson for the camp. i think these are the only pictures i have with my current hairstyle. more to come soon :D

golden straits villas resort :D

living room. dining room. bedroom.

yes. we were fed like that for three days!

buffet ma. *drools.

footprints.

mila. shirley. maylin. shirly.

p/s despite the rather dull celebration last midnight, i'm going shopping today with ma hommies (i'm damn cool yo yo wtf why am i like this). and on the bright side, i can use merdeka as an excuse to wear my baju kebaya :D yay. selamat merdeka!

constututional law paper was a bitch.

"Explain briefly the doctrine of separation of powers and show to what extent it is applicable in Malaysia."
(20 marks)

HOW TO FINISH IN ONE HOUR YOU TELL ME???!!!! padah tamak points tak cukup masa tulis T____________T

i should have done number one instead why am i so greedy why why why why why... on the bright side - i'm done with midterm papers! now, for a break, a tag by kwankwanhun:

A) Answer the questions below, do a Google Image Search with your answer, take a picture from the first page of results, do it with minimal words of explanation.

B) Tag 5 other people to do the same once you've finished answering every question.

1. The age you'll be on your next brithday:

i googled "eighteen" :x

2. A place you'll like to travel to:

venice?

3. Your favourite place:

wherever he is.


fine i cheated - i didnt google. so what?

4. Your favourite food:

mum's cooking :)

5. Your favourite pet:

once upon a time.

6. Your favourite colour combination:

i guess.

7. Your favourite piece of clothing:

white knitted long sleeve sweaters.

i dont really like this one though.

8. Your all-time favourite song:

i googled "qing tian", a song by jay chou. and i got this:

"bao qing tian" horse. because got moon on forehead wtf.

9. Your favourite TV show:

10. First name of your significant other/crush:

jay :)

because i dont know whether to google yeoh or da or qiang hahaha

11. The town in which you live in:

kota kemuning

12. Your screen name/nickname:


13. Your first job:



14. Your dream job:


15. A bad habit you have:

16. Your worst fear:



17. The one thing you'd like to do before you die:

promise.

...even if i have to forego meeting jay chou T_T

18. The first thing you'll buy if you get $1,000,000:

gold!!! hahahaha

no lah probably a piece of land somewhere peaceful.

maybe by the sea. dad said sth bout aussie outback...

I tag:

the creature i found when i googled "jess loke seafield"

console me, console me, console me.

i have class this friday 10-12pm. after which i can go home to selangor. next monday's a merdeka holiday, and i have no class tuesday, so i have 4 days of holiday. 4 mintues ago, my lecturer made my day. he posted a notice online:

"Dear Students,

In view of the long holiday, you can make it even longer. I will cancel the 10-12 pm lecture for that day [friday]. Travel safely- I want you back in one piece. "

-- Prof Leo Pointon

cute or not! how i wish all lecturers were as jovial as this old english man. but i'll be around malacca, because i have assignments to complete before i go home next week to celebrate someone's birthday :)

maybe i'll go shopping in jusco. tag along?

spot the poser.

i've decided that every emo post should be followed up by some form of oprah winfrey. one of the best feelings in the world is waking up on a another (not again!) schoolday knowing you'll have someone to back you up no matter what.

"you going to get married next year is it? unless u 25 years old only talk la. now all this puppy puppy love la. kids like us too young to understand love. dont bother being in a relationship at this age 'cuz it will never last one la. be like me la, gembira pergi bertuah."

-part time lover, full time bitch - joel gan jeremiah.

stolen from grace's blog from stickgal's blog

想回到过去 / 试著让故事继续
Want to return to the past / to try to allow the story to continue

至少不再让你离我而去
At least I won't allow you leave me again

分散时间的注意 / 这次会抱得更紧
I'll take note when we part / to hug you even tighter

这样挽留不知 / 还来不来得及
This sort of salvage effort, I don't know if it's still in time

想回到过去
Want to return to the past

yes. an emo start for the privatized blog. i know it's troublesome now that you need to sign in and all to read but you'll get used to it like i did. plus, you get to comment without having the need to sign in again :D

there are reasons why i privatize my blog:

one night over the dinner table, my mum asked me why do i declare everything on my blog to everyone. apparently she reads to "know how i am doing", which i figured - you know, whatever, fine. but then reason two came up.

two. i'm a sentimental emo and this blog is somewhat my fountain of emoness. on top of hating having my mum see my sentimental side, i'm not comfortable with the public at large being able to access to my soft, pathetic side, which leads me to reason three.

three. insecurities. i have to admit i'm a pretty paranoid person, and sometimes i do care about what other people think. some people read my blog once in a blue moon because it's too "wordy-wordy". so i just dont want to bore them you see.

four. i'm exposed! my mum was right. there's just too much information on this blog dont you think? though i used to beg to differ, i realize now that it did significantly make me less opaque, of which i was fine with until my grandma came to know about my affairs, so i think i need to clean up my act for awhile.

five. i might reopen this blog to everyone one day, like lijen. just not so soon. because i've been pretty down for some time now. there are just some things i need to figure out by myself right now, and i just want this to be between you and i.

放在糖果旁的是
Beside the candies lie

我很想回憶的甜
The sweet memories that I really want to reminisce

然而過濾了你和我
But they filtered us out

淪落而成美
Tragic therefore beautiful

沉在盒子里的是你給我的快樂
Encased in the box is the happiness you brought me

我很想記得可是我記不得
I really want to remember but I can't

為什么這樣子
Why is it so?

and most of all, i need to fix this. this mindset that the world is ending (i was on auto-pilot again) leaving me behind because i feel like i've lost a huge chunk of my life because of some of the most horrible mistakes i've made, of which i find almost impossible to forgive myself for.

i know, this is starting to sound like "story from the darkside".

i'll refrain from being dramatic. but the fact remains inherently, a fact. and i guess i need some time to get over this, and some time to give up, and some time to move on, and some time to forget, and some time to go back to god (yea, i sneaked out some time ago and i'm pretty lost now), and some time to figure out what i want in life, and some time to recall what it feels like to not worry whether it's the right time to smile.

and more than some time to forgive myself.

i'm trying to take it one step at a time now, and not think too much, except life always seem to come to a halt when the lights are off but my mind isnt. it's so hard to shut off the thoughts, the remorse, the memories, the voices, the anger, everything.

so here's an emo post to give you a vague (heh) picture of what i feel right now. to start off this boring journey of joanne-goes-to-the-zoo. yea that was random. oh well, let's go to the zoo to celebrate when i feel the time has come (wtf so dramatic hahaha)

Will you come back?
It's all she wants to know
She knows she's part of the problem too
Could she let it go?
It'd take a miracle
So that's what I'm praying for

-- Tisbury Lane by Mae

see that picture up there? the picture of the little girl letting go of the balloon. i'm sort of like her. except i'm still holding on to it, and the balloon has deflated quite some time ago.

i've came to a point where i'm confused whether it's love or just a habit i've developed throughout the past three years. old habits die hard, remember? or perhaps, in a more brutally honest manner, it's probably a compulsive obsession of mine, of which i've came to decide that resistance is futile.

我只求 能借一点的时间来陪
I only wish that you can spare some time for me

你却连同情都不给
But you don’t even give me the slightest sympathy

an addiction, except it doesnt make sense anymore like when they replace a cigarette bud with a toothpick and smokers start buying boxes of toothpicks. but ridiculously, i'm the seller, the buyer and the 'smoker'. that's how sane i feel right now.

天灰灰 会不会
The sky is gray

让我忘了你是谁
Will it make me forget who you are?

or perhaps, it's not even love at all. or maybe it is, but just not for the person. i do love a tremendous lot, except it is love for something of nonexistence, a certain someone from a certain time in a certain phase in life. and it's you whom i wanted to capture and preserve. it's you before, it's you then, it's you gone for good.

and sadly, i'm still in love with who i wish you were - and i wish you were mine.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

I WANT TO GO TO THE LAW SEMINAR! BUT I CANT T_______________________T

zaid ibrahim the minister is gonna be there, prof dr shad faruqi's gonna be there, prof dr abdul aziz bari's gonna be there, and our own dr masum's gonna be there. but i wont be there T______________T

and it just occured to me that dr masum sounds like some cartoon villian.

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH i wanna go i wanna go i wanna go. but i'll be in port dickson attending some study smart camp with some chinese guy who reminds me of dq why is my life like this T___T

and i was a damsel in distress last night because i had just started studying for this morning's exam at 930pm last night why am i so like that T_____________T

why why why?

why lin dan? T______T

i've never been so angry and annoyed before by merely reading the newspaper. I admit lin dan is good and he can be quite handsome (only because i have a thing for guys with prominent jawbones and he has a nice smile too albeit abit cunning at times) but why is he so arrongant! AAAAAAAHHH saw or not his yong sui face when he challenged the umpire?!!

AS COCKY AS EVER - I'm an outstanding sportsman, says Super Dan.

dahlah he defeated lee chong wei and i didnt get to sing negaraku like the patriot i am, he must say that his attainment of the gold medal is, i quote, "an acknowledgment of my actual strength".

AAAAAAAA! SO ANGRY LAR!

do you know he even pick out clothes and handbags for his girlfriend?! at times like these i do the weirdest of things. i came up with a few theories and went online looking for ugly lindan pictures:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

i know right - he sounds like me.

somemore in some chinese new year clothes.

lin dan trying to be jay chou!

"tak boleh buatnya"! cmi, cmi.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

from a site which says, i quote: "p/s lin dan like lion"

see! our chong wei look at lin dan

but lin dan show dulan face!

okay lah, let me retain my sanity and stop being biased. anyway, i was really disappointed even though i'm not much of a badminton fan myself. i came up with a few theories.

number one, we won anyway.

no, not the silver medal. although i wanted to be upset at lin dan and all generations of his whole family including his ancestors and future offsprings, i couldnt because he's chinese and there exists a possibility that our greatgrandfathers were once bffs or maybe heng dais or maybe even biological brothers.

AAAAAAAAAAH I'M RELATED TO LIN DAN WTF WTF.

so anyways, i figured out that since lee chong wei's ancestors are probably from china, he's technically remotely a china man. thus, being a china man and a malaysian man (unlike lin dan who is cina and purely a china man), we indirectly bagged everything - gold, silver and bronze. so we are the champions my friend, we won all in one, groundbreaking or not! and lin dan is now our property so we can easily send him away through ISA for disrespecting malay culture by wearing chinese new year clothes near the ramadhan festival!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA IF HE'S MALAYSIAN HE'LL BE DATUK LIN WTF WTF

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

why am i like this T__________T

i believe in times like this people make the worst and most ridiculous of hypotheses. and i, at one point, was contemplating whether lee chong wei is gay and has a thing for lin dan, thus was distracted from performing his best. but i guess both of them have badminton girlfriends for a reason T______________T

to share the prize money wtf.

WHY IS LIN DAN SO ARROGANT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. and why china people so bad they kept cheering "lin dan jia you!" only. now i hate china people. but i cant because if i do i indirectly hate all malaysian chinese including myself also!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! we should start calling lee chong wei "super lee" also.

or super chong, or super wei.

better than lin dan, maximum can call "super lin" or "super dan" only. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. ok la i better get started on my assignment, it's due tomorrow. i am like this one lah, my nature T_____________T

no space to explain why i privatizing, next post lah! bye

assignments. examinations. meetings.

greetings braders dan sistas sekalian,

i hereby declare that imma privatize my blog. if you want to continue reading my blog, drop me your blogger email (yes i know some people dont blog but blogger macam ini because blogger is bitchy like that) at my cbox or leave a comment on any post (ya lor, 2006 one also can because blogger will send notification to my email wan).

the offer is only open for 10 days because you're only considered a worthy reader if you come at least once in 10 days because i am fussy and high standard like that. and that jamaican dude broke world record!

ok lah, that is all. babai.

joanne loke is single!

and probably not blogging anytime soon to make sure the whole world gets the information across, including my grandma. apparently she asked my mother whether i left my ex and am now together with a malay boy.

the cons of internet.

maybe i should privatize my blog too. anyone interested to subscribe? my next post would be "a spark of nationalisme" to suit the whole merdeka atmosphere. except this spark would concern internet and poker.

unless i can get paid for it elsewhere.

oh yea, not that i'm bragging about my ability to reserve my bragging rights, but RAGE published an article of mine and i'm getting paid for it, like another 3 articles i wrote for MMU :D

since i'll be away, here's something i stole from joel's blog. dont forget i'm single.

dalam banyak-banyak beruk,
beruk apakah gay?
(se-ke-roll ke bawah selepas anda jawab)


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jawapannya = beruk-back mountain.

random. emo post 101.

i read a friend, siew's blog. hilarious. i quote:

"Well, my brain has a very weird way of shutting out all these unpleasant thoughts. I think I'll call it the ninja reflex. Everytime I come across something I don't want to think about anymore, I think of violent sword fights. I know. Its ridiculous, and I have no explanation for it. When I drift off and suddenly arrive at the memory of some embarrassing moment that I have had in my life, my brain takes over and shows me scenes of sword fights."

where's my ninja reflex?

it reminds me of jess and i when we were kids and still sleeping in the same room. she'd tell me to "think of mickey mouse" when we get afraid of the dark and boogeyman. so is this disney reflex?

mark twain once said:

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

live life to the fullest what not.

oddly, when i look back, i feel more remorseful for the things i've done compared to the things i didnt. maybe i sailed too far away, or perhaps i just need another twenty more years.

looking back makes me emo.

but i do it everyday. every time i close my eyes before i sleep i see high school unfolding right before my eyes. sweet dreams are the closest i can get right now. and they are hard to come by.

anyway, he said "dreams will forever be dreams".

everytime i reflect back i'd see moments i regret, moments i want to take back, moments i want to erase and rewrite. if i could turn back time, i would. just to feel it once again, to fix things, to fix me.

and these moments, they replay so vividly.

i dont have ninja reflex so i'd always stop myself, either by shouting "shut up!" as if commanding my brain; or by slamming my hand on the table until the sudden pain kills my thoughts for a few seconds.

i disgust myself.

sometimes. sometimes more than i can tolerate. sometimes it becomes so bad i'd feel like scratching and tearing and destroying, and kicking the walls, and smashing dishes and throwing china off the balcony.

where can you run to escape from yourself?

i guess i'll try to distract myself tonight by scrutinizing the back of my eyelids. close your eyes in a dark room and stare. do you see dots? lots and lots of them? mine are usually red and blue.

what are yours?

a tribute to neha

sometimes, we spend so much time teasing a lecturer, we become too ignorant to notice how hard they're trying, and we often forget that they've once been in our shoes.

-

they refer to him as neha.

even though neha only constitutes a quarter of his name. they address him as sir, when in actual fact, even his counterparts address him as doctor - a title he has earned after years.

he's from india - a fairer one.

they love his accent. they love listening, they love comprehending, they love imitating, they love laughing. peepol, executiu, aabof. and they love how he pronounces names.

Ng Kai Choy
-Angie Kai Choy?
it's Ng, sir!
-Ong?

-

it's the final class on wednesday in a small tutorial room. the students have been laughing frequently and periodically for the past half an hour. there is something special in his laugh.

rarity.

"what's the difference between precedents and customs? who will tell me?" the room falls into silence. he scans the room for a miracle. no one replies. he looks down at one of the students.

you girl, what's your name?
-nisha
ok nisha, tell me, tell me.
-precedent is
'nisha' means night, you know that? where is day? day? where are you?

he swivels his head left and right, searching for another miracle. the students laugh in amazement. he's not exactly russel peters, but he's humorous nevertheless, intentionally or not.

he switches target.

what is precedent? you. yes, you girl?
-precedent. uh...
yes, yes, come on, come on, tell me, tell me.
-precedent is...
is it like the bush in america? or is it like the sarkozy in the france? or is it not?

roars of laughter :)

before releasing them, he asks, "do you people prefer tutorial or lecture?" the students answered with one voice: "tutorial!" "why?" they all knew why, but it wasn't easy to answer.

"more funny!" "fun!" "lecture 8am too early!"

"do i have class with you people tomorrow? what i will be teaching? no questions? okay? you may go?" ("okay? you may go?" is actually "okay, you may go" but pronounced as "okay? you may go?")

-

the next day, 8am, his lecture begins. he attempts to repeat the same jokes. "what is precedent? who will tell me?" he looks around. "is it like the bush, or the sarkozy?" silence.

it's 8am. if it's not the fatigue, it's the bad breath.

"where is the night? and the day? who will answer me?" he looks around. silence. painful silence. silence so loud it makes me feel sorry. finally, a girl in the first row answers, "stare decisis".

i grin widely and hope he sees i know he's trying.

ed's note (because i dont know where to fit this in the next entry):

i remember the first few classes.

i thought he was suffering from speed thought - the constant detection of scattered information in his head caused him to digress and significantly expand notes. and times he stuttered, because he would recall something suddenly and blabber it before he finished presenting his initial point.

he was fast and serious and he seldom laughed.

one day during lecture, he told us we could ask anything, even if it were not under the syllabus. someone asked whether he was married. he laughed and proceeded to discuss about the importance and sanctity of a marriage institution.

that stirred a commotion in the class.

when he finished, everyone was awake (surprisingly) and attentive. in fact, the brouhaha hasnt completely subsided. noticing the unusual hype of the class, he brightened up, smirked victoriously, and said:

"okay, from now on, we will take 5 minutes of lecture every week to discuss any subject matter outside the syllabus :D"

we laughed and agreed. he got back to lecture. within the next ten minutes, the atmosphere of the class was back to its solemn, passive nature. some students started dozing off. and he saw.

upset, he stopped and said:

"why you people are sleeping?! i know this 8am class is very early but i have already tried to give you people jokes and knowledge of other general things but why you people are still sleeping?!"

and then he was peaceful again.

he looked left and right at us with an innocent and clueless face: "what i was talking?" we couldnt help but laugh. my two seconds transition period lecturer :)