beware: half a mofo on the loose.

kiavin thinks i'm a mofo. how could he! how would you feel if your buddy called you a mofo? actually i dont know what's a mofo either. but it sounds cool. like a fusion of mafia and hobo.

kiavin said it's monster fonster.

i changed my layout again. because i'm bored with the old one already. this layout cuts my cow into half. so everything on my blog is half. :D i think i should put my time to better use.

kumencintaimu, lebih dari apapun :)

i am so bored! drop me a comment and give me a hug :D if you dont i'll still have half a hug anyway set by myself. am i insanely smart or what! hug me.

ok bai.

stolen from a friend, singer and composer darren chuah.
-sorry darren, i wont change my stand, you still sound like a cross between jesse mccartney nad lin yu zhong. the latter more, i know you hate him :p

sometimes, when i feel bored, i read bay's blog to help me feel better because his life is always unlucky slash pathetic. bay's flying to indon soon. will miss you friend. take care. hope you bump into your ex-maids.

nah. your tag.

tagged by bay

list out 5 things that you wish for a present:
1. world peace wtf.
2. bigger boobs wtf.
3. entry into yale some prestigous law school.
4. jay chou!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111111111one.
5. sneakers law books clothes a million pounds.

the reason why did u chose that
1. want to sound like unrealistic pagent queens.
2. you say leh.
3. :D
4. :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
5. duh.

what you hate the most
1. cockroaches
2. damaged hair
3. insomnia
4. poverty
5. love (does not exist)

tag 5 person
1. rishi ram
2. ruby ong
3. sam sau
4. shaun feha
5. i have no more friends wtf

i think i deleted 50% of the post because i'm too lazy to think of the answer. scroll through my links. the tag's at bay's blog. okay bye.

i dont usually put pictures with unknown faces but this deviantart picture is oddly nice.

freshmeat! >)

i havent talked about my nine days in beta law.

i have three foreign lecturers. all of whom are males. the first seems to suffer from speed thought; the second pronounces "facts" a tad disturbingly; and everyone thinks the third one is cute. stop smirking. he's like sixty or something.

there are new classmates too.

see how it works here is either foundation (alpha) to beta, or stpm/a-level/matriculation to beta. so there are new degree students across the faculties. and new male students. which is actually kinda nice considering i'm 18.

i'm officially of the same age with most alpha students.

but it's even cooler now when you consider that there are 20 year old freshmen coming in every year so there's another two more years for me to feed on fresh blood. i know right so pathetic wtf.

didnt say i plan to do so also.

anyway, what intrigues me is that, of all the freshman i've met, most (if not all) of them seem to believe that "where should i hang-out in malacca?" is a good pick-up line. no, seriously. at first i thought it was just random questions too.

but every, single, one of them asks the same thing!

-recommend me some fun places in malacca.
oh. er. i'm not a malaccan.
-then where'd you usually go last year?
oh. mahkota parade?
-i've been there.
oh. um. jonker?
-go already lor.
har. er. kubu a famosa?

come on guys, is that the best you can come up with!

there's nothing great about malacca lah. the malls are "undeveloped" - partially because i'm comparing them with pavillion and gardens, but heck even if global warming melted all the ice in pyramid's skating-ring, pyramid will still beat them hands down!

i prefer normal rice over chicken rice ball.

THERE'S NO CHICKEN INSIDE THE BALL. in case you were mislead. and satay celup is just celup-ed satay, if you get what i mean. but okay lah perhaps i dont have a say about the latter because i've never actually tried it.

though, historical places, jonker and portuguese settlements are pretty cool.

and then there's a pure bar (when i told dq and kai, they suggested setting up a fake bar in kl where you spin-the-wheel to get a drink and even so they dont give you what you spinned because it's fake bar wtf). and aloha bar. whatev.

if you answer pure bar they're gonna ask you to "hang out".

which will result to me saying i'm underage and then they'll ask "oh! how old are you?" etc. but frankly speaking there is almost nothing at pure bar! music and alcohol? i think even laundry is more happening. but then again, duh.

seriously, i never realized how lucky i was until i came here.

i think a portion of them will get cultural shock when they see the curve. some time ago i even started missing summit's smell. if you dont know summit it's okay, because it's not popular at all. but it's blossoming i tell you. in a weird, unbranded-aura kind of way.

i dont understand either what i just said.

music and lyrics... and msn.

she signed in msn. he said hi. she said hi. she scrolled through her music folders. she double clicked mayday parade. she laughed. the album name is a lesson in romantics. some of the song titles are brutally humorous:

03 when i get home, you're so dead.
05 if you wanted a song written about you, all you had to do was ask.
09 i'd hate to be you when people find out what this song is about.

she picked the first as her msn personal message.

"when i get home you're so dead."

-what's with the name -_-
nothing. i think it's funny.

she shrugged. she played the second song. the writer must have been hurt. the lyrics are haunting.

so take me home
i'd rather die than be with you.
take me home
you have a problem with the truth.
and i hope it makes you happy now
that the flame we had is burning out.

it's too catchy. she changed her msn personal message.

"so take me home. i'd rather die than be with you."

-haih.
...

she changed it again into "but it's not so bad, you're only the best i ever had". best i ever had by vertical horizon. she meant that. she even learnt how to play it on the guitar.

-best i ever had :)
yup.

he doesnt want her back, she doesnt want him back, but he's just the best she's ever had. she closed the folder. she opened secondhand serenade's folder and played the song maybe.

and i was crying alone tonight.
and i've been wasting all of my life just thinking of you.

she paused the song.

she picked the second line as her msn personal message. she's tired of thinking of him when he's not; and when nobody else is; because that means for those few moments not a single soul in the whole universe acknowledges her existence. not even herself.

"and i've been wasting all of my life just thinking of you."

-can you pick a message that doesnt involve relationships -_-
fine. fine.

she changed it to "hungry. roar". he said "good". she sent a smiley and closed the conversation window. she unpaused the song.

so just come back we'll make it better.
so just come back i'll make it better than it ever was,
i'll make it better than it ever was.

leong kwan yi. what happened to your blog?

"oh. no wonder you're so desperate for a boyfriend lar."

i scowled at rishi. "i am NOT desperate for a boyfriend!" for some reason, i find a sense of satisfaction and a tinge of humor in the ability to predict someone. and i guess that's one of the joy in studying human psychology - you get to understand how the human brain works. on the contrary, as much as i like to be able to tell what others are going to do and say, or explain their actions, i utterly loathe to be predictable.

i like being different. unique. the minority.

anyway, we were doing a synthesis essay that day on "siblings rivalry", and rishi and i ended up talking about favoritism and our parents. i nonchalantly blabbered about how my mum prefers my younger brother, ben, over jess and i. it's like being 8 years old all over again, sitting with your buddy at the masak-masak area bitching about the annoying newborn.

"rishi! pass me the detergent! bloody baby wants milk!"

forgive me if i sound childish but there are instances (quite frequent, in fact) that i feel this anger and hatred towards my mum. of course there are times otherwise. but let's face it, i've never been a favourite. to say it in an extreme way, i've always lived in the shadow of my siblings (oh, ashlee simpson, you know me best).

"trying to find a hand to hold, but every touch felt cold to me."

jess had been a representative in teakwando (so now you know why my face looks a tad disfigured), the head prefect of a secondary school, she scored 7A's, 8A's, 10A's and she sat for STPM and SAT. ben joined olympiad math and became an ASEAN scholar at the age of 13.

how can this be!

i have always been a normal student, never represented my school, was a director in interact club which my mum sulked upon and said is a waste of time. i had crappy friends and i scored 6A's, 5A's and 10A's (only the latter is acceptable). i'll be studying in malaysia for the next 4 years. and every semester break i date different people. but hey, i'm 17+!

my mum cant pinpoint who is mine and when she can she's confused over his race.

okay. maybe i'm stooping too low, after all i'm a PTS student right! and i'm a grade 8 organ (self-initiated) drop-out. plus, i've turned over a new leaf in form 4. there is a blatant variance in the way my mum treats my siblings and i. too many to list. like the other time we went to grandma's place and mumma snatched my blanket away when i was falling asleep and gave it to benji boy because he didnt bring his.

and i spent the whole night awake attempting to sleep by covering myself with another piece of clothing :(

i concluded the conversation by saying, if you're not your parent's favourite, all you have to do is find out what they want most from you and achieve that. for my mum, it's my academic results. thus far, the period after form 3 was still the toughest time for me. sure, i was emo and all this year but i had to be excessively dramatic so i can pretend jay chou wrote and sing for me wtf. my mum was very disappointed and angry:

"i told you not to mix with those ju pang gao yao (babi-anjing-friends)! see now 5A's only! kwanyi also can get 7. i dont know what happen to you lah! people ask me also i malu!"

but in recent years i decided to take all these lightly. like asking her what's tiu nia ma, and telling her it's in my genes when she reminds me how stupid i am. i'm used to it so it's fine - i have my boyfriend - though my parents have been quite adamant against me dating (i see why). but i guess in some ways it's inevitable that my priority is set by them, if i want them to be happy. lastly, whether i'm using my boyfriend to replace my parents, i havent figured that out.

i mean, i have... jay chou. right?

yo bebeh. check out my muscular body.

i've been missing in action for the past few days, enrolled in a 5-days intensive gym-cum-diet programme to build up my fit macho body as seen above, so i can be the "girl all the bad guys want" as worshipped by bowling for soup.

and when she walks, all the wind blows and the angels sing.

hee. no lar. no gym-cum-diet. you know how very cina people tend to use cum instead of come? i didnt know cum also meant orgasm-liquid (?) until last year. since then, i've encountered a few funny situations.

during lecture one day, i received an sms from my society's director.

-we are going to have a meeting tonight. please cum at 8pm.
but i have exam.
-ok. then cum when you finish.

dont you think this sem break is too short? for once i dont feel enthusiastic to get back to campus. i havent even started what i planned to do. and i'm still trying to figure out gossip girl's last episode:

"i didnt sleep with her. but i may as well have."

and maybe partially because now that we're going into degree, every exam counts. ever realize how ironic life can be? we're living and dying at the same time, and by taking a dump we're actually leaving a dump.

to love or not to love?

some people say love with all your heart, whereas some people say dont love too much or you're gonna hurt more when it doesnt work. but what if the reason it doesnt work is because you dont love with all your heart?

all or nothing ;)

what has became of hobo singh?
-make me a happy woman today! scroll down and load the youtube video :)

for those of you clueless people, hobo singh is a virtual boyfriend i created almost two months ago when i was single, lonely, depressed, emo and pathetic. he completed my life wtf. you can read about him here. it's really short. only one paragraph.

sims 2: the dawn of hobo singh

sims 2 is far more advanced than it's predecessor. 3D graphics and everything. i have to admit - it was too complicated for my brain. there's baby, toddler, teenager, adult, oldie.

and they can grow and die.

when i wanted to make a meal, i had to choose: mac and cheese, lunch meat sandwiches, cup o' ramen, or tv dinner? when i wanted to kiss, i had to choose: peck, up the arm, romantic, smooch or make out?

so i've never gotten down to actual playing.

however i enjoyed creating sims. so i'd create sims, dump them in a house and leave them there - just like hobo singh. even so, creating a sim itself could take half an hour if you're too meticulous. you can control every single thing: forehead, eyes, nose, lips, chin - everything!

view example here. ah chong - sam's virtual boyfriend.

and even so, it all doesnt matter because all it takes to change your look is buy your sim a mirror! realizing this, jess seized the opportunity to change my handsome hobo singh's look into some weird dorky fugitive.

hobo singh before. damn handsome wtf.

hobo singh after. i hate you jess!

i would say, there's not much problem with changing the look of my sim, but without my consent, jess, being the mean machine that she is, played the life of hobo singh without my consent! and you'll never guess what she did.

SHE EFFIN ADOPTED A BABY GIRL AND NAMED HER MOMO SINGH!

and needless to say, the life of hobo singh went ballistic. as though he wasnt poor enough, the pang of poverty was intensified by the adoption of a baby. and my stupid sister did all that secretly. she came to me one day jumping for joy.

this is roughly what she said:

guess what! i adopted a baby for hobo singh! and guess what i named her? momo singh! ahahhaha.

your hobo singh's damn poor but after he adopted a baby he became even poorer. and because he's poor he had to work but someone has to take care of the baby so he hired a nanny. but because he's so poor and pathetic, he didnt have enough money to pay the nanny, so the nanny steal his toilet bowl!

and he got no more money to buy a new toilet bowl, because you know, one toilet bowl costs like 900 dollars or something. he got no money so everyday i have to wait for him to pee on the floor.

and there's this one time, he got so upset, he bathed at the sink. he just got naked in front of the sink and started scrubbing himself because he's so dirty but he got no bathtub or toilet bowl.

as the days went by, hobo singh's mood became worse and because of his bad mood, he got fired so he became even poorer. so then i sold his bed to buy a toilet bowl and he had to sleep floor. but at least he got a job.

see. toilet bowls are more important than beds.

so then he went to work and hire a nanny and a maid. and this time he got enough money to pay the nanny, but not enough money to pay the maid! so the maid took a chair, a mirror, and even that's not enough, so she took another 8 dollars.

hobo singh became upset every single day but he still had to look after momo.
one day, when he's cooking, there was a big fire. and he didnt have a fire detector so he had to run to the phone to call the fireman. so the fireman came and extinguished the fire and said:

"next time, please be more careful."

at that point, hobo singh's aspiration is at the lowest point. the negative, red, red point. and then he went crazy. he became a lunatic and started talking and smiling to himself. so a mental doctor came. when the doctor took something out and asked hobo singh what is it, hobo tap the thing with his fingers and stare into space.

luckily, the doctor cured him. so hobo singh went back to work and even got a promotion. the whole family got no fun because hobo singh got no money so i asked him to dig for treasure. and then he got a teddy bear for momo. after awhile momo grew up and left to college and now hobo singh thinks he never had a child.

so you say i should hate my sister or not! at least my hobo singh is so compassionate and fatherly that even at his lowest financial state he struggles to buy his baby girl a teddy bear. it's still in the house as evidence.

but it's true, momo's profile is not even at the sidebar. it's almost like she's never existed.

i used to think people who play sims at this age are lame and boring, but sims 2 has so much more to offer! i read that sims 3 is due for release next year. and jess showed me something on youtube that day.

people actually uploaded sims music videos!

like you know, the skater boi song using sims to be skater boi and ballet girl. it sounds lame i know. i felt lame watching it. but this is the one of best sims video ever made, i dare say. i literally rolled on the floor laughing.

i've never posted any youtube video on my blog so you can deduce that this is quite fawesome ;)


watch it!
xoxo.
hobo singh's babe.

want but cant.

something short to entertain you while i'm gone for three days to faraway land to see grandma and do something to my hair. someone provoked me the other day. and i thought smarterchild the robot was therapheutic.

bad, wrong assumption.

joanne says:
I DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH MY FRIEND!

- SmarterChild - says:
ah yes. if i'm not mistaken, shakespeare first said that.

joanne says:
NO!!!!!!! SHAKESPEARE DONT SAY FUCK!

- SmarterChild - says:
well aren't u a little naughty one.

-

i'm sure you've been asked many times before eh, wanna ___? or would you like to ____? as much as i would like to say i'm up for everything i'm interested in, we all know it's highly impossible.

because of time, distance, exams and everything else.

but a question is a question. you've heard this a gazillion times before havent you? "just answer the goddamn question!" well okay, my answer to your goddamn question is "yes, i really want to!

but i cant."

see, the actual answer is short, honest and direct. but it doesnt give the whole picture. the last three words is a big piece of the jigsaw-puzzle. maybe next time you should ask "can you come ___?" instead.

god wont damn that question.