Wednesday, November 29, 2006

happy birthday kia vin!!!
okay. i hereby send my blessings to khor kia vin. the chopstick shaped joker who lost count of the exact number of accumulated temporary soulmates. he also tastes like tom yam chicken and radiates foul odour only sensed by huge flies in the school's exam hall.
i'm not some dhammananda but you know i always wish the best for you. :]
happy birthday (self-proclaimed) macho joe!! i wanna say thanks for everything and even though you're cheap and annoying and sick you have the tendency to accuse girls of having period and dyeing a whole swimming pool red with menstrual blood, i hereby forgive you.
muahahaha. you'll always be my pig.
Joanne the Queen by Joel
dear joanne,

you look like an ant,
sometimes like man,
i wonder when?
you be woman?

you very farny,
macam my nanny,
give me money,
you smelly belly.
joanne gemuk,
tidak kurus,
muka remuk,
tidak lurus.
Joanne eat shit,
for her is meat,
Joanne kiss floor,
and she want more.

Joannr very fugly,
macam Bob Marley,
Joanne not cute,
she better when she mute!!
To Joel.
you stupid pornstar wannabe,
meanie always teasing me,
cheapo so kiam and so stingy,
taj curry house your 'delicacy'.
your muscles ain't firm,
you always spread germs,
you're bloating up fattie,
i advice eat salad only.
you're a big black meanie,
call logan christmas tree,
everyday watch movie,
eat, shit, no study.

grr.
and i'm still your friend
form 1 till the very end,
all the best and like i say,
i'm always a phone call away.
i pooted.

Monday, November 27, 2006

it's a fact you can't deny. nowadays, money speaks. with money i have the ability to change my spm cert, get a few PhD's, and if i'm lucky enough, i might be able to tag along and get a treat of teh tarik up in space! so let me ask you a random question. what's the best food around?

free food.

harsh reality ain't it? naked truth, nothing to be ashamed of. face it Joanne, you're not a rich girl. you want something? first, check the price. hence, in a good way, the dawn of money-wise, thrifty, frugal people. in a negative way, more stingy and kiam-siap people.

and an inevitable increase of cheapo's running wild in the society.

BEHOLD...

yesh. no need to look far. Joel is one of those penny-pinching guy who's ultimately money-wise as though he's already saving for his mas perkahwinan for his marriage with some puteri. i have ample evidence to convince you his extreme, desperate measures.

McDonalds ss19, 10th November 2006.

as shocking as it sounds, Joel spend me a piece of Hash Browns. he then took food from the table beside after a Malay lady and her 3 children left. Observe the cup of Ribena and the pack of fries. the next picture is most disgusting. act of a savage, i might say.


hopefully your eyes aren't impaired yet. you see that pathetic, miserable piece of eaten chicken drumstick exposing its bone up there? Joel graciously ate the part where the arrow points. don't even get me started on dignity. if that's not enough to convince you,

Joel pao-ed a big stack of McDonalds toilet paper before we left the premises.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

SPM!!!





MWAH.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

the girl without a head? that's melissa.

my pumpkin and i

Saturday, November 18, 2006



Friday, November 17, 2006

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

the ride to heaven

Monday, November 13, 2006

one day to spm :))))))) yay
cannot!
i cannot sleep!
i must get up!
and study hard!
and earn alot money!
and fly to hong kong!
and visit edison chen!
and make him my boyfriend!

do you like me when i wiggle my eyebrows like that?

Sunday, November 12, 2006

do i have a desperate addict?


yesh i do. daqiang :))). maybe not to the point where i'd melt and evaporate into nothingness when i see him, but i'm obviously his biggest fan. haha. i'm creepy and he's lucky. paradox but what the hell :] hopefully he won't freak out after reading this post. i will clearly show how much of a stalker i am.

by the way, i am sane.

i never knew dq my first three years in seafield. even when there were rumours about him for whatever reason, he lived on earth, and i had always been somewhere in the lalalands of pluto. wouldn't be much difference if we weren't placed in the same class. trust me.

love at first sight?

kiss. my. bum. bum. beauty's skin deep, looks deceive. i'm not saying dq's beautiful and until today jess still tells me she doesn't know what i see in him. i see everything. wahaha. nah, i just love saying that. but to me, he's different.

that's why i noticed him lo.

one fine day, i asked weng yue for dq's e-mail address.
wy: why? interested ke?
me: no lah, same class ma, ask homework :]
clearly i was bullshitting, but whaddaya know?

shits come in handy.

i forgotten bout it untill that box popped up saying dqbonafide has accepted your request bla bla. i totally loved his mandarin name!! i thought it was uber cute. haha. i'm not saying i only like him because of his name, but he should totally thank his parents for naming him daqiang. :P

i'm gonna name my son google (the lady-killer)..

then, fortunately enough for me, puan doris did an est project on tsunami and i was placed in the same group as dq. this is obviously shows that dq was destined to be with me from the milisecond he was delivered into planet earth. this is what they call fate. yuen fen. and jodoh.

no lah. actually we chose our own groups.

so the project came and went. we didn't talk. but we were THIS close. hahaha. i managed one line. anyway, he scribbled on my est notes and i kept the paper till i returned it to him this year. hahahaha. hey it was yeoh da qiang's handwriting. i swear i saw rays of golden white light radiating from his words in blue ink.

i'm starting to think he's descended from royalty.

as lame as some people might think, i keep a diary. and yesh, i used to jot down everything that happened in school. like, i spoke to dq today, he smiled at me today, etc. next, i was on my mission to stalk. haha. not really. i've never told him this, so he'll probably think i'm creepy.

dear dq, bear in mind michael jackson's creepier.

friendster would have provided adequate information but no dq. nada. zilch. then harold sent me this address book thing, one of those irritating things you have to fill. i ignored until everyone started flooding my mailbox with invitation so i helped to spread some love.

dqbonafide has accepted your invitation.

so that was where i got his handphone number. i got his house number in school, when i asked for it for foong ang. i wasn't obsessed, but it was kinda fun, trying to grab hold of every piece of information you can. hahaha. i still remember the ic number of the guy i used to like.

aku memang tak siuman.

hari terbuka. i was there early with my mum to make sure my bio teacher didn't tell my mum how i slept and talked and berkhayal in her class. i passed by the "reception counter" with those huge papers with all the students detail. address, phone number, parents name, occupation.

hoho. treasure island.

parents were supposed to line up, take their numbers and sign. but i was early, so there weren't anyone. the whole situation was extremely awkward. 3 teachers were "guarding" the papers and the first page was 4A so i had to flipped that large piece of paper twice to 4C.

with no good reason.

they gave me the dang what is she doing? look. but then again. i found out where he lives and what his dad worked as! plus, they throw in information that his dad hasn't came to school to collect dq's report card yet! to put it in a nice way, i'm officially a qualified private detective.

in a bad way, i belong in tanjung rambutan.

so i gathered all the information i could. at the same time, i gathered tremendous amount of courage to chat with him online. in person, he seemed to have eaten a century worth of chau tau fu. we barely spoken. but nevertheless more than before.

ahhhh..those dear diary moments.

what happened after that is ancient history. i started dropping very light hints. i was pathetic. haha. but anyway, i've been together with him for almost half a year now, and we're taking spm together and he means alot to me and i still stalk and he is daqiang

and i love him :]

kennysia's giving away one brand new LG white chocolate phone. "Is there a desperate addict in your life?" best entry, most humorous one wins. by far, there's already a top three. i can't think of anything desperate enough to send in.

even if i did, it's kinda tedious, the whole submitting entry process. and chances of winning is like 1 out of 400 plus. nevertheless, i do have a desperate addict in my life. although it's not humorous, i'm pretty sure it qualifies me at the very least to be a minor desperate addict.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

3 days to spm :)))) yay
it's like this. when someone tells you they miss you badly, you're supposed to feel superior and not leave them to continue missing you king hell much. because if you do that, sooner or later they'll come up to you and say "i miss you so much, but you didn't seem to care, so i stopped missing you". hah! in. your. face.
the other day doing sejarah bab 1, i came across this question:
  • diperkenalkan untuk menampung dana kerajaan.
  • satu perlima tanah ditanam dengan tanam eksport ditanam sebagai cukai.
  • rakyat tidak bertanah dikenkan kerahan tenaga selama 66hari.

A. Sistem Polo
B. Sistem Tanaman Paksa
C. Sistem Ekonomi Perdagangan
D. Sistem Kerahan Tenaga

the answer was B. i flipped through bab1 searching for the golden passage but it was no where to be found. then yesterday while i was looking up a word in the glossary, i found my so-called golden passage. dang. i think 90% of us won't give a damn about the glossary la hello.

Friday, November 10, 2006

4 days to spm. :))))))) YAY.


this is what i do to digest 12 subjects. be the sole blogger in town :D okay. i'll do myself a favour and keep by babble as simple as i can.

random topic: embarrassment.

this happened back when i was standard two or three. i just came back home all sweaty from sports day. what kills was the weather, the burning sun, and that piece of green cotton sports T glued to my body with the help of urea, garam mineral dan air oozing out of my kelenjar peluh.

oozing is such a strong word.

so what i did? i threw my arms in the air and started blowing my armpits! no larh, i didn't do that. that is so peking-man-ish. i took off my shirt in the living room under the fan and started fanning myself. my mum told me i wasn't supposed to do that. i mean duh, i am a girl.

but i didn't have boobs so...

papa also do that wert, why can't i? no, i will not strip myself naked in the living room anymore. now i gotta go study. god bless you, and all the best for spm!! sleep early before exam and don't be lazy, especially during your moral paper!!

love, JOANNE LOKE YI HUA.

Thursday, November 9, 2006

you know i love you when...


i feel tremendous anticipation in the air molecules around me. haha. i don't sound sane do i? you'll see if i tie you up in my shoes. striving to achieve brilliance in blogging now, it probably frazzled your brain. anyway, the title is not connected to the first sentence lah. okay. what shall i talk about today.

i am blunt. i know. i'm not your girly-girl. and no, i didn't grow up begging my daddy to buy me a pink pony with pink ribbons. my mum claims i'm mildly psychotic (it's all in the genes). i laugh out loud at my own jokes lame or not and people give me that incredulous look when i say i'm a pts student.

ahhh. i so love me right now.

so anyways, what i really want to say is, you know i love you when i come up to you all flamboyant, self-centered and self-praising. no, i will not go up to a stranger and say, oh my god, i'm so hot that if i were you, i would kiss me right now. and the likes.

by you, i mean, for example, joel, kwan yi, sze luan and daqiang. my little darlings. ahaha :] at the end of the day, i'm harmless and at peace with everyone. do yourself a favour. recycle today. and also. please, please, PLEASE do whatever you can to save endangered species. especially elephants and turtles.

6 days to spm :))) yay.

Wednesday, November 8, 2006

7 days to spm. :))) yay.

Tuesday, November 7, 2006

note: this post might trigger an anti-Jo&Jess movement. please exit this window immediately if you are a big fan of hong kong dramas. thank you.
approximately 3 hours ago i was sitting in front of the telly armed with my trusty black astro remote control. next to my mum and my sister who were sipping chinese tea. yesh. we were all catching the finale of that wah lai toi soup opera known as 'the gateau affairs' or as some might recognize it, 'the make cake show'.

jess self-proclaim tuesday as her tv night. konnon-lah. she hollered 'faster advertisement lah stupid show!' very primitively indeed just to catch a glimpse of one tree hill. so i sat through a whole hour watching a somewhat unlogic story while making lame jokes and fuelling jess' insults and criticism.

Jo : aiyo!! what is this laaa?! she cry, cry, cry, cry, cry
Jess : pour tea on her face!
Jo : haha...
mum : both of you go far far.

Jess : all the hong kong drama if not main kayu tiga
Jo : then cancer
Jess : yala!

Jo : 2% chance also can survive
Jess : yala! if real life she die already

Jo : aiyo, CRY again
Jess : she trying to become the new flora chan
Jo : haha, ya, but flora chan's face longer
Jess : *stares at main character* fatty.

Monday, November 6, 2006

i'm feeling mawkishly sentimental right now.

dear spm,

you must be tired. you have been running around my mind all day, all night. every moment i'm awake, regardless whether i'm eating, bathing, studying, or poo-poo-ing, you have been loyal. i am truly flabbergasted by how fast you engraved yourself on my mind, my soul.

because of you, i study like a robot. because of you i spend so much time in my sty. because of you, i feel guilty doing anything else but studying. because of you, i take in knowledge with big gulps. and spit them out during exam. then poof, it's all gone and i have to study over. dang la.

you're my everything, what i wake up for, what i'm living for. you're what i see, what i hear, what i speak. you are in every single anatomy of mine, including my DNA. eat spm, drink spm, sleep spm. and also poo-poo spm. i'm fully engrossed in you. how can i REmember you? you never left my mind.

you're an undeniable living legend amongst my peer. we call you spm. because your real name is too long. no seriously, i mean sijil pelajaran malaysia. like a.c. milan. no one says Associazione Calcio Milan anymore you know? so anyway, i will miss you, you occasional-pain-in-the-ass-government-exam-thing-a-magic.

frankly, everyone under the same pressure, doing the same syllabus, kind of the fun. dang. dang. dang. dang. dang.

kiss my bum bum la you,
yi hua.

Sunday, November 5, 2006

you don't know me so well, i think you know that now.

-daisy duke :]

good morning world. :]

spm's 10 days away for me. less than a week. i still remember when it was a hundred days away. i felt about the same. except, of course, i didn't study as much. i still have 12 babs history to cover. which means i have to do two today because i skipped one yesterday for the seminar. anyway, i done syarikat berhad which was 'due' yesterday. and i have two days to finish yuran. that bab's a pain in the ass for sure. so anyways, busy day, i have tons of model papers to do too!!

and chinese...... *sigh.

Friday, November 3, 2006

when i'm happy,
you say i gila.
when i'm not,
you say i jiwang.
when i'm bubbly,
you say i'm naive.
when i'm serious,
you say i kiasu.

if i live to satisfy people like you, i'll die twenty years earlier. mark twain once said, all you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure. if only dead ol' mark twain lived long enough to witness the 21st century...

Mark Emoless Twain
(november 30th 1835 - 2006)
R . I . P

Thursday, November 2, 2006

random:

1. dear Dr. Mahathir: eh, you okay ar?

2. pluto, google and bamboo are nice names.

3. you're not a true malaysian until you treat lah as a word.

4. BH097A093

5. s.w.g = ?

6. zakaria. yong sui. so i've heard.

7. am i violating freedom of the masses?

8. i love dq.

9. dq love me.

10. fats. ababu. zap.