The Wedding.

my first shot at camwhoring mirror style.

the hole in the wall. jump. and roll down the stairs.

At My Cousin's Place...

waaa!! so fun, so fun!! marriage!!

Five Minutes Later...

waaa.. ah korr so long wan...

A Decade Later...

two decades later...

my cousin and his wife and i :]

"cameragirl!! stop sms-ing bf!! take photo!! @%#$!"

my feet's a loner.

braids for dinner :]

nikon. cheap and handy.

tai thong. the yellow restaurant.

gtg accounts tuition :P that tai thong cake at the right side, that's NOT edible. trust me. i've tried.

okay let's get serious.

kwanyi's post's got me thinking. what do i want to be when i grow up. people come up to me and ask me what do i want to study. i tell them law. i've been living almost 16 years thinking i would somehow, someday be a lawyer. my dad's been telling me that since i was young. ahhh daddy. the wise man.

"waaa, L-A-W ar? i heard very tough wan worr, but can la, you can speak ma"

then one day Pn Phung had to do this stupid assignment on my ambition. so i said lawyer. she put me together with deepa and a few other girls who, i believe are more interested in the 0ccupation compared to me. deepa asked me "so what are you planning to study? *something* law or *something* law?"

heh? apa lu cakap?

so you ask me what am i studying next year? i need to have a target. so i'm currently stuck in a catch-22 situation. but then again, for now, i think law's just fine. at least i won't feel so tak tentu hala. but then again, i'll probably be stuck in seafield for another two years. if you're joining me, i'll start calling you sayang :D

twenty years later. cadbury factory.
Jo : hello, i'm Joanne.
interviewer: hello Joanne. let's start with your experiences.
Jo : i've been a lifeguard, worked in a dobby shop, tried taxi driving...

five minutes later...
Jo : ...so i tried selling lemonade by the roadside and my last job was baby sitting.
interviewer: wow, you've been so many things. i might as well hire you! welcome to cadbury!
Jo : thank you, thank you, thank you!

interviewer: just a thought, what happened to your last job?
Jo : i couldn't differentiate milk powder and coffeemate.
interviewer: *gasp!* me too, Joanne!! me too!!

Jo : omg, really?
interviewer: you just got your first promotion!!

Jo : thanks!! does that mean i get free chocolates?
interviewer: no.
Jo : oh.

english.
the lingua franca definately isn't a snap finger language. ironically, instead of meticulously studying the language, the younger generation seems to be more interested in debating whether or not shakespear is gay. besides exploring the versatility of the F word. or, as i say it, eff.

why you eff her? you eff-ing stupid, don't eff la. eff you, you eff-er. why you so eff wan?

even duos the veronicas used the term eff-ed up in their single when it all falls apart. unforetunatly, despite our exertion in expanding the english vocabulary, not everyone appreciates words like shorty which means girlsfriend, eff and yo. the following conversation took place in bilik H.E.M recently.

Pn Ung has been rather cantankerous the week before Raya.

Prefect A: Pn Ung, why la so emo?
Pn Ung : what is EE-MO hah?
Prefect B: means like, very emotional la
Pn Ung : why must young people always shorten everything?!
E-MO-TIO-NAL, four syllabus! very difficult to say meh?!!

the following day, grumpy ol' Pn Ung entered 6E. as the students watched her in an eerie silence, fearing that Pn Ung will suddenly hurl a student out the classroom window, do her AC pose with her puckered-up lips, thinking "we should do this more often", Pn Ung dropped the bomb.

Pn Ung: look what look?!! i very EE-MO now!!

[source: Jessica Loke]

everyone has completely submerged themselves in the spm fever. and here i am, feeling reluctant to get back to electronics. congrats me. i'm gonna feel einstein-ish by the end of the day. ahh, knowledge, one of the many wonders in life. i reckon a few of you already know about this:

a Lick Hung student wanted to jump off the school building.

as in commiting suicide. in school. correct, this is so last century but i haven't gave it much of a thought. i'm not sure whether it was a boy or a girl, but did it happen? affirmative. one of my sources said the motive was closely related to a certain science paper.

hmm. i have three.

so i should eat alot of valium, drink alot of vodka, jump off KL Tower and land on some frightened, kind-hearted tourist who will soon cause an enormous amount of controversy on our country's education system after regaining conciousness from being hit into a daze by a certain Unidentified Landing Object.

and i'll be a legend. autograph, anyone?

Joel always told me we'd jump off some building tomorrow. but tomorrow never came. kids nowadays. pfft. like i said, golden spoons in their mouths at birth. oh i sound like my dad already. poor kiddo, that paper must have been REALLY tough!!

or maybe that kid watched too many soup operas. wah lai toi. TSK.

i love da qiang so.

what do i see?

NEC monitor, touchmate headphones, cyber CDs, venus DVDs, tecom keyboard, genius mouse, canon printer, creative speakers, aztech tmnet modem, a rojak-baria computer that will 100% lose in a snail-tortoise-slug-maggot race. yesh. you can compare it with a stationary brick. it's so. frggin. slow.

why am i here?

i have decided to dedicate bay a post. since he asked. if you want a post or a passage on you, click the comment link and drop me a word or two. please note that everything i write is based on my own perspective and memory.

target:

the head on gan's shoulder.

name: bay shing shen
nickname: bay, sinchan
dob: 17/4/89
height: not very tall
weight: not very light
consolation: taller than me, not obesed
myth: is a gangster
truth be told: good boy gone noisy
braces: no
glasses: occasionally
beautiful side: smart, willing, helpful, generous, a good friend
ugly side: private and confidential.
unluckiness: misintepreted, misunderstood, give bad first impressions

okay. dear bay, you really wanna know what i think about you? i'm not cool enough to post your flaws in public la macha. but i'll mention without going overboard by using less bombastic words okay? i got to know bay during form 4. lesley and i sat in the same row as bay.

honestly, i hated bay.

at least, i used to. but hey, quan wei and i used to hate each other king-hell lot. we irritate the crap out of each other. ellan too. but we're all on good terms now. lesley agreed that bay was noise pollution. i remember once the glaring was so bad we joined our tables. bay was right beside me.

you know. like. built in amps.

yep. i would very much preferred going to linkin park's gig, jump the whole night, get really bad toe-sore and have my share of participation in predictable stampedes. so anyway, i learnt to live with thunder-man, he can be pretty funny at times. but his sense of humour can be pretty spiteful.

and i admit. sometimes your jokes hurt.

but hey, maybe it's me being over-sensitive. bay is pretty noisy but he does shut up and get serious. example during pn goh's class. i don't know whether it's the teacher or him, he gets hyper during math and addmath periods. but i guess he just wants to entertain us. class'd be dead without him.

and Joel. and Sze Luan.

bay can be pretty nice, a really good friend to start with. willing to help. like, telling me to dump a certain someone and go for another certain someone. yeah, when he's in his sane form, he acts like this big outsider. one thing i think bay should consider, he seems to mind the credit. for doing something.

and you know i'm reffering to a certain in-class-bday-celebration?

okay. next, bay's really shy with girls. that he likes. but anyway, most guys are the same? for a guy who sings and laugh at a very high amplitud, it makes me feel like strangling him sometimes when he needs help with the ladies. bay shows his pitiful-tolonglah look. oh bay, stop! you're making me feel superior :D

i hate your guts.

stink. i've commented. but bay's right. he can do whatever he likes, like whoever he likes. this is a free country anyway. the big question. why is bay still single? does bay need a serious make over? this is p&c. dear bay, if you're reading this, and you're ready to bare the naked truth, ring me.

i apologize if any of my words offended bay in even the slightest way.

update on yours truly:

physics. god knows how many more times i'll doze off till i finish this boring topic. thus, the revival of the sleeping beast. i'm a daydreamer. which is BAD. for now. today, while trying to relate C with J and t, i drifted away into never-neverland again. the peaceful part without feminine used-to-be-black child molestors.

dear santa:

help. all the prince charming are either taken, gay, or are frogs. i don't believe in the existence of the ideal guy. however, i WOULD date a guy who can play the guitar, is cute, rich [optional], caring, sweet in a silly way and is able to make me laugh. thank you.

love, Jo.

dear Jo:

the type of guy you are finding for is pretty extinct. they are either taken, gay or are not interested. and it's not christmas yet. geez.

irritated, Santa.

ouch.

hehe.

RANDOM THINGS.

1. i fill in the toilet rolls in my bathroom.

-i'm always the one 'restocking toilet supplies'. if i don't, Jess brings in those tissue containers.

2. Jess and i treat unwanted guest like sh*t.

-halfway through lunch two days ago, one of my brother's friends Darien, who seems a bit on the obesed side came over:
Jess: Jo! Darien's here! faster eat!
Jo: *gobbles up rice savagely*

3. Jess and i can be extremely stingy. we are also big candy fans.

-every once in awhile, Jess and i would drive to one of the supermarkets to get titbits. with the increasing cost of petrol, i agree that this is not very wise. .after we calculate how many sweets each of us get with my trusty calculator, Jess charges me for petrol.

4. Jess and i have the tendency to cheat small kids.

ben's my brother. arrena's my 7 years old neice.

one year ago:
Jo: hey ben, what do you call bracelet you wear on your ankle?
Ben: ankle brace?
Jo: *gasp!* it's anklet la!
Ben: so?
(Jess walks into room)
Jo: ben said a bad word...
Jess: tsk tsk tsk...what is it?
Ben: what?! i said ankle brace only what!
Jo&Jess: *gasp!*
Ben: what's wrong with brace?
Jo&Jess: *gasp!*
Jo: make him stop!!
Jess: we're gonna tell mum...
Ben: brace only what. like, brace yourself.
Jo: that's brace but you said...
Ben: i said brace la!
Jo&Jess: *gasp!*

two weeks ago:
Jo: arrena, if you naughty ar, you'll become a boy.
Arrena: really meh?
Jess: ya. really.
Arrena: hahahaha...
Jess: if you laugh too much also!!
Arrena: harr....
Jess: your papa laugh more or your mummy laugh more?
Arrena: my papa...
Jo&Jess: nah! see!

Arenna: you laugh alot also what...
Jo: that's why you see, dai-gu-zhe [Jess] got abit mustache. if you cry too much also.
Jess: yalor, last time ah-Ben uncle was a girl.
Jo: yalorh, he cry too much.
Jess: so when he cry arh, cannot blame him. he actually girl.
Jo: if you drink beer also.
Arrena: ya meh?
Jo: your papa drink more beer or your mummy drink more?
Arrena: my papa...
Jo&Jess: hah!!
Arrena: bluff people wan...

Jess: you try la, you laugh alot and see.
Jo: yalorh...
Arrena: don't want!!

5. I am desperate.

-you see, my earphones were spoilt by Jess the destroyer. both of hers were also spoilt. we have two headphones. which, one is completely impaired. another one works one side only. so how desperate can a person get to operate her mp3? i detached the two speakers from the computer.

I LOVE GIRLS.

GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS!!

i can't believe live without girls! how horrible would it be? wow, who's gonna get pregnant and where will babies pop out from? cooly! guys can have multiple sex organs! tiub fallopio transplant! not forgetting ovaris, i mean, pfft. where did you think ovums come from?

gee... i see an extremely bright future for surgeons...

and of course, plastic surgeons! i mean, you know, guys cant live wihtout girls right? girls are like. magnetic. ugly for beautiful also wan to look. no life ar? example this morning she walks by and he told me her boobs are so big. hmm..transexuals shall dominate half the population!!

see how important girls are?

girls are like. so cool right? so many names. cute, pretty, ugly, fat, flat, flab, pamela, fei gei cheong, fugly, omagi, omaga, kawaii, lalamui, heong ha mui, sam ba mui, etc etc. and all types of *--po. also, you don't see girls running down the street calling their boyfriend cupcake or sweetiepie.

maybe lah. but very the gay horr?

I'M HAVING A BAD DAY LA OKAY. but dear serene, i love girls wan...hehehe...like...i love you lorh...kan sopo? i love girls because they are so pretty, and they discharge blood every month but can still stay alive. so amazing wan...

tambahan pula, they can cook. they can clean. since when Mother Nature say all these things are the responsibility of the female population? JUST BECAUSE MOTHER NATURE IS MOTHER SO YOU THINK ALL THE GIRLS MUST COOK CLEAN MOP SWEEPAND WASH TOILET IS IT?!

sorry. bad day.

if i lay here, if i just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world? :[

Manhunt.

almost two years ago, i entered 4C feeling like some duped, unwilling foreigner dropped in the middle of the streets of busy India where two times-overloaded buses with body parts sticking out of body parts drive through oceans of people who worship cows and savour their dung and urine.

Gujarati and Punjabi, Tamil and Hindi, Nepali and Bengali, none of which i could differentiate. and was is Bombay or Mumbai anyway? all i could relate to was that India must have some good curry to eat and people spitting sirih everwhere.

grapse the analogy?

first month was hell. it was like placing an Eskimo in the Sahara desert. and i was the Eskimo. in 4inches thick polar bear fur, fully equipped with my trusty brick to break a hole in the Antartic ice and a fishing rod. and i thought i could never ever remember the 36 names of my various classmates.

i remember it was one of those days when simon came in with a certificate for LeeWaiHong asking for LeeWaiChien.
Simon: have you seen wai chien?
Joanne:who's wai chien?
Simon:he's in your class right?
Joanne:he is?
Simon:are you from this class?

five question in a row. beat that! six months later i could fully identify each of my classmates. and soon, i recognized wai chien as the Negaraku boy. unbelivable, but i never seen most of them during my first three years in Seafield. or at least, they never really made it in my memory.

now for the who is what part...

now i know, Bay may act like a gangster, but is pretty sensitive inside. wai tseung is not all perfect. he disobeys the don't stay in class during recess and no eating in class rules. want a guaranteed future? marry this guy. considering he wants to be a surgeon and will most probably succeed in being a busy man, Joel and i suggested that you have an affair with another.

i met a hunk who joins scrabble national level and futsal district and/or state level and scored an A for moral. and probable everything else. i also found a best friend who plays BruceLee with me in class and slit his pants. refer to my last last post and compare the Logans. you'd be suprised.

but really, he's a big guy with a warm heart. JenChong may irritate the hell out of us with his teacher's pet and not-so-cool personality. but he wow-ed me when i heard this St.John-er goes for two addmath tuition and have one of the highest addmath scores in class. he also has a Billabong bag. i know. W.T.F?

Ross is a friggin pretty boy. yi jien's pretty cool. i found out when he became the class monitor and covered for more than ten of us who skipped PnPhung's bogus class with unreasonable excuses. wai chien may seem like slumber-boy but he's pretty funny. you'll find out when you hang around him for a day.

khairul is just plain cute! and adham has this big dream of being the best husband. he also does summersaults in the class and make the lamest jokes which are laugh-worthy. thum has been one of the nicest person i've ever met, alongside weng yue. i don't know how to describe but thum's a great friend for sure.

weng yue's a really caring and who's generous enough to invite me over for lunch when there's no 11th period. i still remember he decided to take me out on my birthday last year eventhough he just recovered because everyone else was busy. haha, hey, small things count!

i still remember who showed up besides wengyue. lijen, ross, szeluan and adrian. super darlings!! :P the irony is that da qiang didn't show up. hmm. it was pretty predictable really. he looks peaceful but he's actually a rebel who likes to rationalize and is againts execution.

->may you live everyday of your life...

your secondary schooling years are gonna come to an end. don't give a damn what other people who don't know you think of you. not like they'll like you any more if you fuss over it. climb out the window to the next class just to say hi! one of the advices i believe in: do something scary everyday. makes you life a hell lot more interesting.

now the whole damn bus is cheerin', and i can't believe i see a hundred yellow ribbons round the old oak treee :]

Joel. i love Joel :]

ting ma ma de hua :]

of course, i also love kwanyi!! all 5C people, poooi, ying!!amry, yuan jing, shahirah, izzo!! kiavin!! josh and ryan.. etc etc..ngeehehehe..oh and daqiang!! and those 5ABDEFGH people..people who left school..you know who you are..also, .cik tan............

now we all know how the word Masquerade linked us all...

but did you know about the ONLY bouquet of roses existing that night?

did you also know about Logan's secret addiction?

I BET YOU DIDN'T.

how often do you see/hear/find a sweet guy?

our poor JiYung couldn't attend the mpt5 night.

Jess: aiya, why never tell me? i can talk to PnDaisy for him mah, PnDaisy love our class!!

so, he went to great heights. for his girlfriend.

about a week before mpt5, our good man rang my cell.

1 messaged received: Jo, can you help me order the stuff your sister's selling?

Unforetunately, the Teddy Bears were already sold out.

what about the roses?

oh yesh. the roses.

Jess: roses, RM3 per stalk, standard price la.

i know this is p&c off my tongue.

fingers. whatever.

so anyway, Ji Yung decided 6 pink and 6 red.

unforetunately, FORM 5s ARE A BUNCH OF UNROMANTIC PEOPLE.

no one else ordered roses. so the price was raised.

Ji Yung graciously took the offer.

but shiue nee never got her roses.

Jess: oh yeah, when we were cleaning up, we found it under the table, Rui B'yn took it home.

apparently they thought Ji Yung was going to collect it. damn it Jo were you really THAT busy? grrr me.

thousand apologies to Long Ji Yung. and his girlfriend.

*speechless*

Logan. ESPN. groping. bad example. graspe the connection.

Food-Eating Battle Monkeys!

JoanneLoke the Porridge-Eating Attack Monkey Battle Rating : 7.9

vs

KwanYi the Mushroom-Eating Rage Monkey Battle Rating : 5.9

JoanneLoke wins!

Another Battle?

Giant Battle Monsters!!

Joanne Loke is a Giant Lizard that breathes Fire, has Very Sharp Fangs, and is trying to Destroy the World.	vs	Da Qiang is a Human-Sized Moth that kidnaps Blonde Women, Freezes Solid when Cold, and is Highly Flammable and Easily Confused.
When attacking:- Strength: 9 Agility: 5 Intelligence: 4 Fire Attack!Grr...		When defending against Joanne Loke:- Strength: 11 Agility: 9 Intelligence: 8

Da Qiang wins!

Another Battle?

to battle in the form of a monkey: click here. to battle in the form of a monster: click here. go ahead. you know you want to... *wwink* i shall follow MoJoJoJo's footsteps and destroy the world!! -while eating porridge. yay me :D internet just gets better by the minute!! except the whole daqiang kidnaps blonde woman part......

before.

go ahead with your hahahas and laugh your heads off. that was 2002 if i'm not mistaken, before i got my braces. wonders to thy teeth. boy oh boy do i adore natural beauty :D i'm feeling a little whacky, so a short post before lunch, okay? okay. before i forget:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY IZZO!!

i love you. he loves you. she loves you. they love you. WE LOVE YOU IZZERA!!!!! happy birthday, all the best in your future undertakings. i'm really glad to have known you. best wishes with syazuin and god bless!!

LetMeBoreYou...

i never mentioned. i happen to have a thing for jazzy-swingy music. haha. oh yesh, i must have lived before in the 50s or something. no? i'm not sure. but few days ago i fell in Kenneth Baker's arrangement of When The Saints Go Marching In. oh come on. don't tell me you haven't heard it before.

oh when the saints,
go marching in,
oh when the saints go marching in,
i want to be in that number,
when the saints go marching in.

it's a simple song, really. look at the lyrics for assurance. anyway, no i'm not talking about the ptmc level arrangement with 8 bars of crotchet swinging at an allegro 80 on the metronome. i have the score for this piece. it includes a clarinet solo, a trumpet solo, a trombone solo, and of course the ensemble.

if you happen to find the mp3 or wma anywhere, would you do me a favour and send it to me? Jo thinks you're a darling already :] i know this post is long. quit whining already. wahaha. before i go, let me enlighten you on:

HAIR. and the rationale behind shaving.

every single time i go to a salon [no i don't have haircuts at barbers. my hair betrays.], i get the same line. wah, your hair very thick arh. thank you aunty. like i don't know already. Joanne. girl with amount of hair exceeding the norm. i'll avoid thinking i'm man's evolution undone. like. planet of the apes.

oh gawd Jo, why are you crapping. anyway, here's my philosophy.

bad,ugly hair, is like parasite. especially when you happen to have too many strands of them sticking out of your head. they suck all the nutrient out of your puny little head. good hair on the other hand makes you look good. well, duh. if you have silky and well-volumed hair naturally then shut up already. grrr.

celebrities spent a big sum of money to make sure not too much nutrient is sucked out from their scalp. for people with insufficient cash flow for weekly hair-grooming, we should just shave bald. :D yay me. nutrient saved. maybe then i'll put on some weight.

i just desperately want a haircut that's all.

deviantart.

HELLO fellow earthlings!!

i know, i know, no excuse for me to be sitting here considering i should be pathetically sucking in knowledge into my little head at my table like i should be for the next 2 months. this is like, potty-break or something. yes, i will bury my head soon.

anyway, have you guys checked out StarMag Sunday? there was an article done on a release of a new book "Vanitee Bee" by Lim May Zhee on page20. this girl's like 15 and she's got a book published. i would have been really wowed if she were that kinda quiet, humble person like say, Chin Yin. :]

but nah, HERE's the link to her blog. you might want to check it out. recommended-entertainment. her style of writing is pretty sassy. jaunty you might say, i'd say a little too flamboyant, makes her seem like a typical drama queen, but nevertheless her command of the language is very good for her age. *shrugs*

my opinion: she's the kind of girl you either hate a lot or love a lot. or you wouldn't give a freaking damn. i would rather fall in the latter category. wouldn't wanna get into her way and laugh my head off on her impudent remarks. i'd feel stuck-up.

if you thinks she's a bitch in her (private) school, i guess you're pretty darn right. but she admits it and i can't deny she's doing a damn good job.

don't talk to strangers. have a nice day :]