i wish i could tie you up in my shoes.

dinner in 5. i don't think i wanna post anything anymore. haha. the last one merged threat or something *roll eyes*. so, yea. don't take everything so seriously. in fact, take things literally sometimes and have a good laugh. what's with life being a sulky phung-faced philosopher anyway? no offence. thanks for the elaboration. but, i'm not into bgr. at the moment. especially after what happened in form 3. Blah. stfu.

petrosains was alright. not bad, really. haha. kinda got sesat-ed after that helicopter crap. read it all in LiJen's. so, yea, pretty much speechless. now. so i say hey! what you're gonna do about it? tomorrow's gonna be another boring day. moral. free entertainment by the guys. tjit and all are seriously funny sometimes. lame jokes once in awhile, yea. sometimes i wonder if they really are that...clueless. sleep. watch. listen. laugh.

Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken
Your best friend always sticking up for you
Even when I know you're wrong
Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance
five-hour phone conversation
The best soy latte that you ever had and me...

LoveMeForMe.

natural spotlight by steve campbell

sometimes

i wonder if he notices me.

that's when you think

you're pretty much hopelessly addicted.

nah.

not addicted.

but he's like this flawless diva

that has the world at his feet.

and i'm just this little girl

that wants this autograph

of his.

sometimes

he doesn't seem to notice me.

at all.

that's when you think

he's nothing but a person

that passes you in the hallway

and talks to you everyday.

whether it's a joke

or just some small talk.

yea.

usually some small talk.

we don't talk much.

oddly enough.

i'm... shy?

sometimes

it seems like i never really knew him

after all i discovered.

i thought i knew pretty much.

but in the end

it feels like double infinity.

more like zero.

if you get what i mean.

sometimes

i wonder what's he thinking anyway.

yeah.

he's got some friends around him.

but really.

no one really knew what he's thinking about

in that mind of his.

he's so quiet sometimes.

most of the time.

and no one really understands him.

not even me.

no matter how hard i try.

sometimes

he doesn't seem to have a single care

in the world.

when the world's revolving around him.

no one really knew him after all.

too.

sometimes

i am a lot of things.

but one thing i'm not

i'm not desperate.

i'll see him again tomorrow.

and i'll tell myself the same thing

before i go to sleep tonight.

tomorrow i'll say hello to him

first thing in the morning.

he may be glancing everywhere

but me.

but hopefully

the sixty-third hello

won't be a silent one.

will blog a little about today's trip some other day. kinda lazy to blog today. but today's more than fine. definately maybe. LoveMeForMe.

ordinary, boring day. yes. skipped phung. she's a bore. too. i'm not freaking out. but i'm kinda stressed-up with spm. so, don't mind me if i'm just not in the mood to talk to you nowadays. i pity sze luan. was so lazy to layan her today. haha.

a bad day. i would say. and, oddly enough, sometimes, i just willingly slack back, pityful, pathetic, and pretty much a slob. for awhile. i'm a self-proclaimed procrastinator, paranoia, hater and i'm proud of it. XD. that's it. from today onwards, i will strive everyday, so if you see me sad, or whatever, for no particular reason, pinch me.

approximately 365 days ago...

so there i was, devastated, depressed, dumbfounded, tongue-tied, heart-broken, and any and every word in the English vocabulary that describes a surreptitiously smouldering individual, like that of a wrongly-accused 6-year-old.

at the state that i was, no consolatory condolence, regardless in the form of verbal, nor action, could have made me feel any better. at 200 degree celcius, i was prone to blow up and explode. likely to transform into the first ever serial killer in the history of smk seafield.

sloppy and messy, i shambled across the school compound in a sluggish catwalk, simultaneously shamming i was ill, practically giving 110 percent to fall sick, ready to be swallowed by utter depression.

very much a walking zombie, i was infuriated by the fact that i was lucky enough to be the minority of 1 out of 2900 to have another Lemony Snicket scenario befall me. the unpredictable, the unimagined, the impossible happened. reality shouted a wake up call into my face. akkw left seafield.

approximately 365 days later...

amazing how i picked myself up to be who i am today. like a begger with a winning lottery ticket. ever single thing was going wrong. my world was falling apart. i was in a class with 35 strangers, alot of homework, and this guy i had a crush on for 9 months and 3 days left school.

i think. life really isn't that bad. it's only as bad as we let it be. i mean, instead of being all lugubrious, exaggerating the whole story, i could have laughed it out loud, like i always do. i mean, i must have been so out of my mind. haha.

so here's my promise. from today onwards. i'll live day by day. and i'll live everyday like it's a gift, and i'll live my life with arms wide open, and i'll not wait for anything before deciding to be happy. and i'll not let anyone, like at all, bring me down. XD dont mind me. off to study. woooooooooooooo!!

LoveMeForMe.

pyromaniac . deviantart

school this week.

i just adore this picture. i have nothing to post. so i'll prolly start a crappy topic and rubbish-talk later. anyway, this week passed by kinda fast. somehow. and i went home feeling heartbroken almost everyday. maybe not heartbroken but i felt crappy. you dont wanna know. prolly wont understand anyway...

sounds pityful eh? bahh. no more tears to cry. believe me, sometimes things get so suffocating. and i'll hug my pillow for awhile and go to sleep. psychologically, im an escaper XD. whatever. i just hate school sometimes. btw, i can play more than words on the guitar!! and the first bar of when you say nothing at all. hehe. Joel's so lovable sometimes.

fan-fic.

just wondering. have anyone of you read fan-fic before? as in fictional stories wrote by fans about their 'idol'. I came across one the other day, a girl wrote on Jay chou. and i was thinking. omg, this is so desperate. and frankly speaking, i'll never write something like that. i mean, fantasizing is ok, when you have that sudden gush of love for him, but writing is just...

my try.

bah. puan phung's in class again. okay. is it just me, or does she brings this extremely unpleasant, sucky aura when she comes into class? like ursula from little mermaid. this is stupid. omg!! i totally forgotten about the report on self-esteem. she's gonna fry my ass. f*ck? yes. mighty f*ck? yes. gahhhhhh. she's smiling at me. omg. i'm blind.

"the girl over there, where's your group's report?"

"uhh.."

"yes?"

"uhh.."

"girl, you're drooling.."

"uhh.."

she points at me with her index finger. rude. someone's at the door. halleluja!! i see the light!! but i dont see the fella. my saviour. yes!! good time to run off now. while pn phung chit chat with the fella.

shi*t. too late. pn phung's walking in. with the fella. wait a minute. it's... omg. i swear i see a radiance. it's him!! edison chen. omg times infinity. is it even possible? never dreamt that i'd meet him in a gazillion years!! he's walking here. to me!!

foong ang fainted. whatever. better actually. i can totally have him all to myself. great. adham's absent. yes!! the cutest guy in the entire universe is sitting next to me!! me!! ordinary me!! Jo!! wake up!! i'm not dreaming!! jen chong and chin yin and the 4 chinese girls and denise, blah. whoever, took foong ang to the st john's room.

he sits down. everything about him is perfect!! checkers shirt, green cargo's and a cartier bracelet. with perfect hair, perfect smile, perfect everything. he looks aruond. dq smiles at him. weng yue too. sze luan's rolling her eyes. Joel's saying some stuff. li jen's smiling.

"hi, i'm edison."

"uhh.."

second pail of saliva.

"hey! i know"

and i smiles. that went okay right? right? right? i mean, i didn't have sambal on my teeth or anything. wait. i ate chocolate. omg. i might have smiled with the tak nak teeth!! where's a mirror when you need it? i haven't combed my hair in 48 hours!! my baju kurung's not clean. Joel's slipper mark on my shoulder. gah. and szeluan wrote lol all over my hand. not good.

i better stop.

yes. i better stop before i go on forever. haha. hey, i'm not exactly bad at this!! but edison chen's 10 years elder. *roll eyes* too old. and i'm not on the look currently. found someone special. haha. -- shhh!! stop wondering. there's nothing going on between ben and i. anyway, i'm hungry and i'm getting bored. kwan yi's got a new layout btw. oh and, all the best for dq's jap exam tomorrow. ganbatte? lawl.

LoveMeForMe.

每一个人都渴望爱

也渴望自由

可是人很矛盾

爱就像是狗

自由是狗的尾巴

狗一直追著自己的尾巴团团转

一点也没有想到尾巴其实是他自己的一部分

其实狗只要前走

尾巴就会一直跟著他了

a random passage i picked out from a chinese book entitled 'match made in hell'. cute. chinese books are pretty entertaining. really. some authors are seriously very humorous. and also, the tone and way they write, the words they use, haha, chinese writings are always over-exaggerated and compared to very paranoid, unpredictable yet funny scenarios. like shopaholic.

this is a totally random post. i'm bored. kwan yi's in music class. and i feel so reluctant to do math. anyway, you guys, shahira's got a new blog!! her last post had this link to youtube, with this totally sickening video. i think it's only rational to skin and boil the girl in the video alive, and then make a documentary on cannibalism. booyah.

five random things about me.

1. i wanna learn the guitar.

2. i get bullied all the time.

3. i love sleeping.

4. i slept 9 pm last night.

5. i like this not-so-prom-king-material guy.

thirty things i wanna do by 30.

1. meet a celeb.

- not interested currently. theyrel just human. i wanna meet einstein. i know. he's dead.

2. adopt a penguin

- don't think it's possible. there are penguins in langkawi?!!

3. get myself a guinea pig

- maybe.

4. teach in a kindergarden.

- or maybe seafield.

5. work in baskin robbins.

- nah.

6. visit a chocolate factory.

- nah.

7. watch the rain.

- not counted.

8. count stars.

- yea, but not here in the city.

9. go watch a movie alone.

- it'll be so sad. haha.

10. learn how to play the guitar.

- definately. guys who play are so cute. haha.

11. bath a baby elephant.

- this is totally random. and weird.

12. milk a cow.

- weird.

13. try all the things i hadn't try.

- duh. common sense.

14. online gaming.

- lol.

15. strike three times in a row for bowling.

- make it five.

16. learn to speak and write a foreign language.

- uh huh.

17. play a full match of soccer.

- simple job. i'll learn someday. how hard can it be?

18. learn how to cook.

- will.

19. go busking.

- yea!! will do.

20. buy a rose for a guy.

- i did. somehow the delivery service went wrong. haha. screw it.

Blah. i'm a fickle-minded freak. maybe i'll just do 15 today. another 15 some other day. haha.

1. teach in a kindergarden. or a secondary school.

2. get myself a guinea pig.

3. count stars.

4. go watch a movie alone.

5. learn how to play the guitar.

6. sky-diving. or water skiing. or bull riding. for more than 5 seconds. fumanchu.

7. rocky-mountain climbing. and bungee jumping.

8. get a degree in law or something.

9. drift drive!! booyah!! (go-kart accepted)

10. bowling. strike five times in a row.

11. learn to speak and write a foreign language.

12. go busking.

13. buy a rose for a guy. might frighten the guy away. but. whatever.

14. road side car wash. haha. join an orchestra. as if. deejay!! maybe. sleep in the graveyard. hehe. make a friend in the old folk's home. and attend his/her funeral.

15. write a song.

hehe. i'll think of another 15 eventually. i was thinking find someone who'll catch me when i fall. my mind's kinda blank now. LoveMeForMe.

Introduction

morning world!! weeeeeeeeeeee!! I'm over the whole it's-spm-so-freak-out phase. it happens. haha. before I go on out of topic, first and foremost, i wanna wish the Leo club all the best for today's iu!! damn, I so wanna be there, besides, Joel's prolly gonna be in formals for the first time in a public school event. Blah.

The remedy

okay. anyway, WORLD (which is really just a few person), I found the perfect remedy (more like ingredients) to avoid me from the whole slacking and all. It's like smoking dope, taking marijuana, my ecstacy *wink*, haha, no lah, it just gets me hyped-up. somehow, it makes me really, really happy, dope.

maybe not really, really happy. after having it, i couldn't sleep last night. listen close: milo + cereal + sugar + milk solids + palm oil, and of course lots of vitamins, mostly vitamin B, niacin, pantothenic acid, folic acid and permitted stabiliser. weeeeeeeeheeeeeeee!! don't ask me how did i mix all of that. i just did.

dotA mou?

by the way, drink lots of plain water with that, and some ice-cream. haha. i have weird eating habits. i know. back on track, what have I been doing the last couple of days. it's just naturally-compulsory to state down, you know, just for the record. besides surfing the net, doing homework, sleeping alot, I got my brother to ass off, and I, Joanne, got myself dota-fied.

weeeee!! it's pretty pointless talking about it, considering most of you won't understand a thing I'd say. haha. let's just put it this way, you know there's this guy (or some creature) behind the screen that encourages killing sprees? well he goes "OWNING!!", "DOMINATING!!" and all that. in my case, he'd probably go "FEEDING!!", if, by any chance, he was supposed to.

so dotA's out of my list, at the meantime. besides, Joel told me not to get addicted, just because Adrian (and all) is. Blah. I wont, don't worry. I realized guys are downright bad at explaining stuff. for example, I'd be dota-ing away, with my brother beside, and he'll shout "run!!", "back!!", "why you buy slippers?!!".

and there are all these terms, "all pick", "all random", "death match", "hot keys", "roshan" and alot more I don't remember. and my brother starts saying all these things and every once in awhile I'd go blinking like a totally clueless 3 year old while someone's pawning my hero's head. and at the same time wondering "pawn? gadai? why the head? they chop the head off?"

and Ben continues shouting, then my parents (think we're fighting) will start shouting, then Jess, trying to watch tele will start shouting, then the whole house goes mad. pity my neighbours. amen. and I'll start yelling shut up, while my hero (not literally) dies the twentieth time, and the whole house continues to shout, and I'd shout "BEN, SPEAK ENGLISH."

chaotic. Blah. and Ben totally fears me. more than The Mum. discrimination prevails in the family. Blah. "shut up or I'll slap your face into half". booyah violence's in the blood!! I'm SUCH a terrible person. haha. all I have to do is shoot him the look. muahaha. he dared not say I'm a noob. "Joanne, I think you better play offline first".

On homework.

so that's the dota and I story. we just don't click. not yet. I think for once, I'm listening to Ben. besides, there's really no point starting the game and letting Ben end them while saying things like "you know why I pick the Lich? cuz it's so PReEeETY", "Ben!! don't go to the water!! later your light burn out!!", "go frost them, faster, go pawn someone!! wooo!!", "you know why I pick the Lich? you know? you know?".

Ben'd go "because the Lich is so PReEeETY. the Lich is one of the lousiest hero la, can't attack, only help attacking heroes". okay, okay. enough. did i mention my dad's always mia? oh, and my sis' in hia, fyi. I simply hate her girlfriend. i would kill her, if it's legal. in fact, I used to throw tantrums when she comes over to my place. I wanna hurl insults, hurl HER out the window, destroy her, impale her!!, cremate her...

hehe. I hate her to me 206 bones. i doubt i have 206, do I? anyway, I got to talk to my dad over the dinner table last night. he studied 5 hours everyday at my age, and stil have time for sports (mostly basketball and jogging, no football -weird), and 8 hours of sleep!!

"now THAT, is SO unfair. EIGHT hours of SLEEP? and you can wake up SEVEN, school starts at EIGHT (ends at 'one something') AND you can nap in the afternoon."

" *smiles* that's your problem lah, who ask you not to stay in the hostel?"

" *raises eyebrows* Seafield hostel? if only we didn't shift here, we would have save alot of TIME and MONEY on petrol (gone up 30cents, parents making a HUGE fuss), AND i'll be more active in school, AND mum won't have to whine about driving us around (in fact, Jess just got her license, amen)."

The kerosene lamp.

when I was young, my dad always told me stories about his childhood, his first sip of milo on a wednesday, how poor he was, till milk was merely condensed milk + water. and how he'd do homework under a miserable kerosene lamp, and birthdays would mean an extra egg. tele at the rich kid's house, stealing guavas and getting caught, helping out at the paddy field, striving hard, finally got scholarship to some school, and one month later my grandpa passed away.

I never got to meet him. my dad was the youngest in the family. lucky me, he got all the benefits of education. so he lived in a hostel with three other kids during form 4, and he got allowance weekly. Blah. he thinks I should appreciate more. bottom line. kerosene lamp. Blah. aint it great? you NEED to sleep early to save the oil, and thus, a great excuse for NOT completing assignments.

not that they had alot back then. AND they had kess history to learn. muahaha. the next generation shall suffer mind-exploding amount of history. Blah. and, fyi, my dad should win a nobel prize for saving electricity and materials of the world, etc. for example, i MUST off the lights and fan, even if i want leave the computer, to go downstairs to get a 2 minutes drink.

So i was starting off my stupid LAST (double amen) moral project, taking A4 papers from the printer. and my dad went "Jo, why are you taking the papers?"

"tsk. UGH!! you wanna do my homework for me? do you? do you? *walks to my room*"

"I completed my homework long time ago."

"*enters room, peek out the door* oh yea? well did you have SO MUCH homework? did you have SO MANY assignments? did you have MORAL PROJECT? NoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo... *slams door*"

Conclusion.

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! I think I'm gonna go lock myself in the room. my neighbour's doing construction again. Drilling, hammering, it's the drilling that drives us hairwire usually. drilling since last year. during spm. through the holidays. Blah. rich people wasting money to uglify the house into some square thang. Jess and i vowed to hate the neighbour.

and when they shift in, she'll blast music so LOUD, and I'll play the organ at maximum volumn, till it drives the neighbour crazy, preferably till they commit suicide, OR pay both of us EACH compensation in the form of (cold hard) cash, of course. LoveMeForMe.

Yi Hua -- [noun]: A person who laughs at anything (even this entry) 'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

haha. theoretically, i should be studying like some crazy person right now. i think i'm going crazy. ever since my sister got her results (6 1A . 4 2A . 2 3B), i've been thinking about spm all the time, not that it's productive, like, at all.

hello world. i'm going out of my mind. ugh. you feelin' me? Lol. yes, i can do this, 12A's. yes. like Les Brown said. yes. shoot for the moon. even if you miss, you'll land among the stars. yes. i need to study. yes. i can. yes. i must. yes. i will. yes. this is utterly depressing.

i admit. in addition to my *roll eyes* clumsiness, i'm absent-minded. which, doesn't help at all. i tend to wander off every, say, 10 seconds? tell me something which i'm not interested in and i'll tell you i totally lost track at approximately 5 minutes later.

like studying. i can speed read, with absolutely nothing going in. and then i'd blow my fringe, fustrated, and reread. the words seem familiar, then it amazes me. and then the amazement "catch my breathe away", then I'd have to reread again. lemme clarify: i mostly read only twice now. fascinating.

like in class. one minute, i'll be all ears and the next, I'll be thinking about something totally irrelevant, and then I'll fall into complete blurness and I'd somehow slowly slump in my chair, hug my bag, yawn, and... especially during biology. and i feel guilty falling asleep in her class. she's not a bad teacher, really. she's just, jigglypuff-ish.

take an example, yesterday, i was screwing one of those bottlecaps on one of the plastic bottles, thinking about something else. god knows what. i was spinning it the wrong direction and wondering why on earth isn't it attaching onto the bottle.

i need to focus. i have to stop thinking. i think i'm gonna spend the next 4 days crying over the fact that my holidays are coming to an end. focus. i like chocolate ice-cream, but when i go fishing i use worms because the fish like worms. focus. ugh. i need a psychiatrist.

the paranoia speaks. LoveMeForMe.

Blah.

i hate comparing. i hate anyone who compares me with someone else. i simply hate comparisons. because most of the time, yes, almost 90% of the time, it happens and the results are more than obvious. i know. the losers make the winners. without me, whoever it is won't deserve all the attention and all that praise showered upon.

do not compare me. the fact that i can't escape current comparisons are fustrating enough. and the fact that i tend to be too much of a feeler sometimes, makes me fall into self-pity once in awhile. i used to allow 5 minutes of self-pity everyday. now, i omit the whole concept, yet, you want to start telling me who does not crave for perfection?

i wanted to be so many things. i wanted to be the girl people look up to. i wanted to be the popular girl, smart girl who everybody loves. i wanted to be the multi-talented musician, the greatest leader, the humblest follower. i wanted to be the daughter parents would only dream of having. i grew up having all these dreams. and yet the elder i grew, the further i part from them.

so yes, i self-pity. and when i self-pity, i compare. and i hate comparing, and i hate myself for comparing. it makes me feel as though i'm such a freak that i can't do anything right. like i'm such a bad person, for not achieving what i know i can but didn't. not good enough. do you know what does it feels like? when no one thinks you can do anything right?

it's not like out of 6 billion people in the world, no one has the slightest faith in me. i have a great deal of hope in myself. i know most of you out there have your family to support you and all that. and maybe you think i have too. believe me. i'm not being pathetic on purpose, and i know i seem like i'm whining about my family.

my dad's always mia. and my mum. it's like, she doen't think i can do anything right. Jess thinks i couldn't care less about my studies. and i'd probably win the title of the sleeping beast. maybe i'll look back someday and laugh at this but this is exactly how i feel. not just when I'm pissed at them, but almost all the time. don't tell me every family is like that.

true. i am the ideal candidate when it comes to being nominated as the sleeping beast. but i do care about my studies. it seemed like after what I got for PMR, no one in my family thought that i could score academically anymore. eat on this. my parents actually told me "it's ok, there's nothing wrong with being in arts. just because all your friends in pure science, you also want to follow, i'm afraid you cannot cope la..."

you don't want to know the rest. i felt like shouting to the whole world to move on from my past. haha. i wanna scream out loud, that i'll be okay. i'm more than just okay. but i just hate comparing. why compare me? why? as depressing as it is, i really don't have much to say. in fact, i totally lost track of whatever i was talking about.

i feel so lost. i love how chin yin describes herself. it applies to me. mildly psychotic. i'm a boring psychopath. really. i wouldn't mind going around hurting people. and I feel so entertained when I saw something that would totally come out from my own mouth, written by Muhd Ahnaf Abd Rahim: To be perfectly frank, I doubt the story of my life would inspire anyone anytime soon, unless, for some reason they needed inspiration to be boring.

another reason why i hate to compare. i find my life so dull and boring. besides secretly hating a lot of people, i happen to love the company of myslef. and the company of my dog. okay. i'm getting freakier by the minute. sounds homicidal. i believe that we are only as lonely as we allow ourselves to be. so then, i guess, i am pretty much a self-made loner. haha.

compare, compare. i hate comparing. i simply hate. i hate a lot of things. i'm to much of a hater. wait a minute. i hate haters. no i don't. bah. one thirty a.m. i think i'm going out of my mind. i'm not crazy, i'm just. me. just typing anything that reads itself across my mind. it happens all the time. but i don't sit here all the time.

don't mind me. and don't ever compare me with someone else. i know i'm clumsy and i hate it too. i know i'm not perfect either. but like kensing said. love isn't about finding the perfect person, it's about seeing an imperfect person perfectly. and i sulk at the idea of how everyday is a bad hair day for me. i hate me sometimes.

tomorrow'll be better. i can't sleep. Blah. I feel like killing someone. LoveMeForMe.

I know this is so syok sendiri.

haha. I'm just super glad that iu's finally over and done with!! woooooo!! and it turned out awesome!! better than many previous ones. amry definately did a great job. guaranteed 99% satisfaction. worth it? you bet!!

if you actually realized, I've been online 24/7 for the past few days. haha. Freak. I spent 5 days powerpointing. as no-life as it seems. haha. so maybe 80 slides may seem insignificant compared to what esther or amry did but when it comes to computer programmes, I'm almost a total noob.

and fyi. i did the online research myself, which i doubt i'm any good at, haha, and animation along with music plus the delays and... haha. I should shut up. but really. i don't get how can guys sit in from of the screen for few hours. without falling sick or going hairwire. XD believe me, it's sheer luck I didn't smash the computer screen or commit suicide with the wires.

iu summary. skip it if you were absent.

fashion show was ok. people cheered extra for certain people. happens all the time. popularity and physical beauty dominates the upper class of teenager hierarchies. whoah, deep. speeches. one way street. one way strret did a really good job!! they actually performed quite alot. haha. and the drummer was so cool!!

not really. it's more like. i'm such a jackoon. haha. but he played well. no doubt. dance. brenda and her friend. beat it!! then a drama on the factual story of Count Dracula. dinner was ok. food was ok. some liked it. Jess said no cuz she didn't get to eat anything. ahha. and I stained her skirt while stealing her food.

she looks weird in skirt. with that hair. and her shirt. so samseng. aunty. lala. bad combination. hahaha. ok. don't insult how I dressed. red spaghetti and a short black skirt. with black heels. I hate strappy heels. curse you feet killers. ugh. anyway. after dinner was tim and tjian (timothy and tjit tjian from one way street) with vocal and acoustic. ok-ni-lah.

slideshow presentation. this is a big haha. it was really kelam-kabut. the only part of iu which was kinda screwed-up. we had the audience waiting because we couldn't start up the laptop. poor amry had to read the polio slides. which was really-really-loooong. 70% of the profit we made from iu were donated to support the polio-eradication... thingy.

graceful aint we. haha. then function-z did their thang. they sang kau ilhamku!! lovely song. and they performed another 2 i think, but i was too busy changing the fonts, because that stupid laptop doesn't have my font. ish? you bet!! thankfully bhakti was there to like calm me down. haha. I even started singing along to the malay song. Lol.

and because of some so-called technical difficulties, the background music couldn't be played. so I covered-up with the folk songs. and I had to speak on the mike. which I totally didn't expect. I struggled through the slideshow with a little help from Josh. haha. wikipedia. thinking back it was seriously humorous!! and I made stupid mistakes like caval...holes. and i simply despise pronouncing romanian words. at least i got the crowd laughing at a 73 slides slideshow. ^^

ok. enough whining. then shuffling. it wouldn't have been so good without the lights. then the second drama was really good. funny at parts. Fuad was so funny up there. and amry seriously did a great job up there, dancing so seductively. haha. all the guys were like eyeing on her. Lol. then souveniers, amry's violin solo and award presentations.

after the Interact song, nishaa lost her handbag and handphone, and then the finale. Hora!! I couldn't believe it. I actually got Li Jen to dance. and alot of others did too!! haha. Jenny and Chai Yin. Tjit Ming and Joseph. not that we actually did anything close to a good job. it starts of fine. then the music got faster and I'd go "hey, we're walking again".

we're running in circles again. haha. after hora, we were dancing and all. almost like clubbing in formal clothings. weirdddd... Lol. amry seriously did a great job. and damn, she can dance!! she's SO talented. envy? you bet. after Jeremy (who was really funny during the whole iu) and some guys did their thang on the stage, shuffling, dancing and all, it was done.

farewell was a long process. people taking pictures and all. and I had to part with my beloved fellow posers. shaun and ken sing. till we meet again. next month I guess. XD study hard in college yea.

didn't believe I could do it? haha. Joel and I was aiming for Top Ten merentas desa this year. you maybe thinking I'm having too high a target, but really, like they say, aim for the moon, so if you don't get there, at least you'll land among the stars.

I got 11th. Ish. So, as an act of self-consoling, I'd say I got the 10th runner-up. not that it helps that much. to come to think of it. haha. Joel's ligamen or something tore. poor thing. he was actually behind that guy who got second place.

till he hurt himself and had to walk back. and it was really painful. I mean. think about it. I could have flicked it. now I wasn't even allowed to touch it. screw effin Jee Kin. now Joel really wanna kill him. me too. Joel's in bomba camp now. we'll kill him someday. no worries. holidays!! yea!!learning to breath again.

gg. click the player at the right to hear my siblings and I sing. haha. (Jess yelled shut up lah). Last but not least, dear Li Jen, haha, same to you la, all the best tomorrow aite, go break a leg!! (not literally). Leo IU. sorry I can't be there. =)

LoveMeForMe.

three different people by rimfrost

hey!! I got the picture from Deviantart. the artist's pretty cool. cute drawings. anyway, i like this picture because it reminds me of some people... nothing much to say. school was dull today. adrian absent for 3 days. ><>

http://www.sinthaistudio.com/room.htm

gg addiction. LoveMeForMe.

Joel. I never really realized how precious is the sight of Joel smiling, till what happened recently. I don't wanna mention about it. ever tried glacing at a person every 10 seconds to see if he's smiling? *roll eyes* Joel's such a pig. I could sit with him on the park bench for a whole day, saying absolutely nothing, and pretend that it's the best conversation ever.

right now. this very moment. I don't want to think about us parting, my pig going to college and all. I'd even go "aww, my pig's growing up" in that aunty tone when I see him going all lembik over some girl. don't you just love a happy Joel? funny, hunky, cute, tak halal...

so here. I just wanna say a big thank you to Joel, for coming in my life and all, pulling through the toughest times in form 4. and of course, nonetheless, all of my other friends. regardless my classmates. or not. thanks for, well I don't know. every single thing you guys did.

joel. ellan. quan wei. nishaa. sze luan. li jen. adrian. bay. adham. da qiang. foong ang. agnes. clement. ben. ji yung. kwan yi. esther. samuel. kishok. shaun. nad. worene. samantha. weng yue. chin yin. melissa. ganesha. izzah. lesley. thum. almaz. anis. deepa. denise. diana. elisa. eve lynn. grace. hsiao yinn. hui wen. khairul. khairunissa. logan. ross. wai chien. wai tseung. yi jien. zheng joo. yi heng. ken hon. bik yun. ting yu. loh. chai li. ei-jean. izzo. amry. emily. adam. and all the names i missed.

one thing though. I'm not as graceful as Li Jen. I'm not thanking those of you who I still hold grudges againts. I simply hate the few of you. I won't show it. Like you guys don't anyway. Eff. whatever. you don't know me, so don't act like you do. don't make-up effin stories cuz I'll never shed a single tear because of them. save it for your tombstone. Freaks. I hope you guys perish with thin air. forgiveness is so not in my vocabulary. I think about killing you guys all the time...

LoveMeForMe

happy birthday Li Jen!! *hugs*

hope you had a really memorable birthday!! hey, 10 person showed up kay? from 4 classes you know!! bangga anot? XD it was definately more than just okay. it was awesome although we didn't get to bowl or go to the archery or skate or anything. screw those megabowls or something!! ^^ have a wonderful sweet 16!! have faith in miracles!! god bless and live your live to the fullest!!