你何曾感觉欠自己一场大哭？

to find someone whose picture makes you smile. to find someone whose smile makes everything in the world fall away. to find someone whose mere presence makes you know that no matter what happens, everything will be alright.

to find someone whose frustration, anger, and sadness makes you wanna go all godzilla on the world. to find someone whose laughter makes you stop and smile. to find someone whose stare makes you feel vulnerable, lost, breathless, and loved, all at the same time.

to find someone who says "i love you" and mean it. to find someone who hugs, a lot, especially when sleeping. to find someone who forces you to slow dance for no apparent reason. to find someone who tells you you smell good, even when you don't shower.

to find someone you like very much.

to find someone you never doubt.

to find someone you love.

too many people pride themselves for constructing impenetrable fortresses, claiming to be strong, unbreakable, immune to all harm. i think, these people are cowards of the most selfish kinds. cowards who try to suppress their fears because they have no courage to fight them. cowards who rather stay completely dry on the beach for fear of drowning.

where is the living in life then?

merry christmas,

my love.

someone once told me that we have nine souls.

or something to that effect. i have found no basis for it. perhaps it was a superstitious belief wrongly-founded upon confusion with a mythical attribute of cats. regardless, if it were true, i believe at least one out of all nine souls emanates pure joy, and this is the soul that exhibits our very core, the epitome of our truest form. suffice to say - and i believe - that to be able to embrace this soul is the foundation of contentment and the root of happiness.

and alas! how you butchered that soul of mine.

i reroute at every red light.

i must confess, i'm emotionally gullible. if you lead me on long enough, i will reduce to nothing but a hopeless romanticist. i will absorb you into my private space, and i will tell you the silliest jokes and the weirdest stories; i will trust you with my strangest dreams and my darkest secrets.

i sail a whirlwind of infatuation on sweet adrenaline until the slightest change of your weather. abruptly, i find you and i in the same place we started off, except this time i scramble to pick up pieces of myself scattered all over the floor - emotions, secrets, philosophies - which i come to realize have been exposed to the wrong person again. ill from sickening vulnerability, i hastily gather every piece and elope. as i always have.

there's another green light around the corner... right?